Fuck Motivation: How to Build Discipline Instead
Discipline vs Motivation. Alright, listen up. If you’re still waiting for “motivation” to kick you in the arse and get you moving, you’re going to be waiting a very long time. Probably until you’re six feet under, if I’m being brutally honest. Motivation is a fickle, unreliable bastard. It’s like that mate who promises to help you move house but then bails with a dodgy excuse about a ‘bad back’ on the morning. You can’t depend on it. What you can depend on, what you need to cultivate, is how to build discipline.
I spent over twelve years in the British Army. You think we waited around for motivation to get out of our bunks at 0500 for a cold run? Fuck no. You think we were “motivated” to clean our rifles until they gleamed, or dig a trench in pouring rain? Not a chance. We did it because we had to. Because it was drilled into us. Because it was discipline. And that, my friends, is the only thing that’s ever going to get you where you want to be, especially when you’re looking for a midlife reset.
The Myth of Motivation: Why It’s Holding You Back
Motivation is a feeling, right? A burst of energy, a sudden urge to do something. It’s great for getting started, for that initial spark. But it’s temporary. It ebbs and flows like the tide. One day you’re buzzing, ready to conquer the world, the next you can’t even be arsed to get off the sofa.
I know this first-hand. Eight months ago, I quit drinking after 45 years. Forty-five fucking years. You think I was “motivated” every single day to not reach for that pint? To face the cravings, the shakes, the sheer mental battle of rewiring my entire existence? Don’t be so daft. Some days, I wanted to smash everything in sight and just surrender to the old habit. The motivation was nowhere to be seen. But the discipline? That was there. The commitment to the process, to the new rules I’d set for myself. That’s what dragged me through.
Motivation is an external force or an internal feeling that gives you a push. Discipline is the internal skill, the commitment to act consistently, regardless of how you feel. It’s about doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t want to do it. And that, my friends, is where real, lasting change happens.
Discipline: The Soldier’s Creed for Life
In the Army, discipline wasn’t about punishment; it was about survival. It was about functioning as a unit, achieving objectives, and knowing that your mates had your back because everyone was doing their job, no matter what. That ethos translates directly to your life.
When you decide you want to lose weight, start a business, learn a new skill, or finally kick a destructive habit like I did, you’ll have moments of motivation. Use them. But understand they’ll fade. When they do, discipline has to step in. It’s the engine that keeps running when the fuel light comes on.
So, how do you cultivate this unbreakable mental toughness? You don’t get it by reading fluffy self-help books or watching endless motivational videos (though I admit, some of my TikTok (@ian_callaghan) rants might kick you up the arse). You build it, brick by bloody brick.
How to Build Discipline: My No-Nonsense Guide | Discipline vs Motivation
Forget grand gestures. Discipline is built in the small, consistent actions you take every single day. It’s about creating habits that serve you, even when your emotional state is telling you to just give up.
1. Define Your Non-Negotiables (Your Orders)
What absolutely HAS to happen every day, no matter what? For me, when I quit drinking, it was: no alcohol. Simple. Non-negotiable. For you, it might be:
- 30 minutes of exercise.
- No junk food after 7 PM.
- One hour focused on your side hustle.
- Meditate for 10 minutes.
Make these clear. Write them down. These are your daily orders. Don’t make a million of them; start with 1-3.
2. Routine, Routine, Routine (Your Daily Drill)
The Army runs on routine. You know what you’re doing, when you’re doing it, and why. Your life should be no different. Establish a solid morning routine and an evening wind-down. This reduces decision fatigue and builds consistency.
- Morning: Wake at the same time, hydrate, move your body, meditate.
- Evening: Plan for the next day, switch off screens, and get proper sleep.
These aren’t suggestions; they’re your daily drill. Consistency is crucial for building self-discipline, and routines help maintain that.
3. Embrace Discomfort (Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable)
This is where the rubber meets the road. Discipline means doing the hard thing. The thing you’d rather put off. The thing that makes you squirm. Lean into it.
- Cold showers: Start with 30 seconds, build up. It’s a mental battle, not just physical.
- “Just 5 minutes”: Can’t face that big project? Tell yourself you’ll just do 5 minutes. Often, that’s enough to get the momentum going. This builds the muscle of showing up.
- Mindfulness with urges: When the urge to procrastinate or indulge hits, acknowledge it, but don’t act on it. Just observe it. This is a core part of what I teach with NLP and hypnotherapy – not suppressing, but observing and detaching.
4. Remove Temptation (Secure Your Flanks)
In the Army, you secure your position. In life, you secure your environment. If you’re trying to eat better, get the junk food out of the house. If you’re trying to cut down screen time, delete social media apps from your phone or set strict timers. Don’t rely on willpower alone; make it easier to succeed.
5. Review and Adjust (After Action Report)
At the end of each day or week, do an honest review. What went well? Where did you fall short? Why? This isn’t about beating yourself up; it’s about learning and adapting. What needs to change in your ‘plan of attack’ for tomorrow? What did you learn from your fuck-ups? This continuous feedback loop is vital for growth.
6. Fuel Your Machine (Nutrition and Sleep)
You wouldn’t send a soldier into battle on an empty stomach and 2 hours of sleep, would you? Your body and mind are your most important assets. Prioritise proper nutrition – whole foods, plenty of water. Prioritise sleep – it’s not a luxury, it’s a fundamental requirement for mental clarity and willpower. This isn’t just about physical health; it directly impacts your capacity for discipline.
7. Find Your “Why” (Your Mission Objective)
While motivation is fleeting, understanding the deep, intrinsic reason why you’re doing something can provide a powerful underlying current of purpose. Why do you want this change? What’s the cost of not changing? Connect to that purpose daily. This “why” isn’t motivation; it’s the bedrock that gives your discipline meaning.
The Bottom Line
Motivation is nice when it shows up, but discipline is the consistent, relentless action that gets the job done. It’s about commitment, consistency, and showing up every single day, especially on the days you really don’t want to. It’s about training your mind, just like you’d train your body.
If you’re serious about making a change, about truly resetting your midlife, then stop chasing that fleeting spark of motivation. Learn how to build discipline instead. It won’t always be easy, but I promise you, it’s the only way to forge the life you actually want.
If you’re ready to stop faffing about and build real, lasting change, come join my Midlife Reset community on Skool. No bullshit, just proven strategies and a community of people doing the work. Let’s get to it.
