I used to think a midlife reset had to be dramatic. A crisis, a blown-up marriage, a quit-your-job-to-move-to-Bali moment. That’s what we see in the films, isn’t it? The grand, chaotic gesture that forces change. My life was never like that. For 57 years, it was a slow, steady build. The kind of life where you tick the boxes, hit the milestones, and tell yourself you’re doing just fine. And for the most part, I was. But somewhere in the quiet spaces between the ticking of the clock and the milestones, a different kind of feeling was settling in. A profound, bone-deep weariness that wasn’t about being tired after a long day, but about being tired of being tired. This wasn’t a crisis; it was a quiet, suffocating burnout.
For 45 of those years, alcohol was a constant companion. Not a problem, not in the classic sense. There was no “rock bottom” moment, no lost job, no ruined family. It was just there. A glass of wine, or two, or three, to unwind. A celebratory drink. A social lubricant. It was a comfortable habit, a quiet partner that I believed was helping me manage the stress and the slow burn of life. It was so deeply woven into the fabric of my days that I couldn’t imagine my life without it. Then, at 57, something shifted. Not because of a disaster, but because of a simple, quiet question that surfaced one morning, “Is this all there is?”
That question was the catalyst. It was a simple flicker of curiosity that turned into a flame. It was the beginning of my midlife reset, a journey that started not with a bang, but with a whisper. I’ve now been alcohol-free for eight months, and what I’ve discovered is that the real secret to success midlife reset isn’t a grand gesture; it’s a series of small, intentional acts. It’s about choosing to build a new foundation, brick by brick, using tools that were within my reach all along: meditation, visualisation, and the simple, profound power of my own breath.
This isn’t just my story. It’s a guide for anyone who feels that quiet burnout, that sense of a life on autopilot. It’s for those who want to change, not because they have to, but because they know they deserve more. I’m going to share the exact tools I use daily, my non-negotiables, and give you the scripts to start your own journey. My goal is to show you that. overcoming burnout in 40s Or the 50s isn’t about radical change, but about mindful transformation.
The Subtle Burnout, The Ticking Clock You Don’t Hear
Before I decided to go alcohol-free and embrace my midlife transformationI wasn’t aware of how deeply burned out I was. The word “burnout” often brings to mind a high-powered executive working 80-hour weeks. But my experience was different. My burnout was a slow, insidious erosion of my spirit. I was going through the motions. I was a professional, a partner, a friend; I was fulfilling all my roles, but I wasn’t present.
The signs were subtle. I was constantly tired, even after a full night’s sleep. My creativity had flatlined. My patience was thin. Little things would irritate me, and I felt a general sense of disconnection from everything and everyone, including myself. Life felt muted, like watching a film in black and white when I knew it should be in vibrant colour. My go-to solution for this vague sense of unease was always the same: a glass of wine, or two, or three. It wasn’t about getting drunk; it was about pouring myself a moment of “off,” a small ritual to signal the end of the day. For 45 years, this was my routine. It was a perfectly acceptable way to live. Or so I thought.
But the truth is, the alcohol wasn’t a solution; it was a distraction. It was a way to numb the feeling of being on autopilot, to push the quiet questions further down. It was a temporary escape from the feeling that something was missing, that I was a passenger in my own life. What I was unknowingly experiencing was midlife burnout. It was a quiet crisis, a common feeling for many people in their 40s and 50s. It’s the feeling of being tired of being tired, and it’s a powerful signal that it’s time for a change.
I look back now and see it so clearly. The drinking wasn’t my problem; it was a symptom of a deeper issue. The issue was that I had lost my connection to myself. I had outsourced my peace and happiness to a substance and a series of habits that were slowly draining the life out of me. The first step to my reset wasn’t about stopping a behaviour, it was about listening to that quiet question and deciding, finally, to answer it.
The Decision to Unplug, My No-Rock-Bottom Reset
When people hear I’ve been alcohol-free for eight months, they often ask, “What was your rock bottom?” And my answer always surprises them. There wasn’t one. I didn’t lose my job, my family didn’t stage an intervention, and I never had a dramatic public failure. My “rock bottom” was a quiet, internal one. It was the moment I looked at my reflection and didn’t recognise the person staring back, not physically, but in their eyes, which had lost their spark.
That’s when I decided that my midlife reset would be different. It wouldn’t be a reactionary act born from desperation. It would be a proactive choice born from a desire for more. I was 57, and I felt like I had a second chance to build a life not just for others, but for me. The idea of an alcohol-free journey was daunting, but the idea of living the next 20 years the same way I had lived the last 20 was terrifying.
So, I made a deal with myself. No grand pronouncements, no public declarations. Just a simple, private commitment, a 30-day challenge. The first few weeks were surprisingly easy, and yet, profoundly difficult. I wasn’t fighting cravings, I was fighting habits. I was fighting the ritual of the evening glass, the social awkwardness of not drinking, and the space in my schedule where that habit used to live.
In that space, I found something unexpected, quiet. For the first time in years, the noise in my head began to subside. It was in this quiet that I discovered my new “non-negotiables”, the foundational practices that would become my new daily rituals. These weren’t just hobbies; they were lifelines. Meditation for midlife stress, visualisation, and breathwork became the tools I used to navigate my new reality. They were the key to unlocking the midlife transformation I knew it was possible.
I’ve learned that a reset isn’t about a destination. It’s about a continuous journey of self-discovery and growth. It’s about consciously choosing to build building resilience midlife and finding purpose after 40 one day at a time. It’s about building a fortress of inner strength so that when life inevitably throws its challenges at you, you’re no longer reaching for a quick fix, but for your own inner resources.
The Power of Breathwork and Quiet, Non-Negotiables for a New You
Of all the midlife reset tools I have discovered on this journey, none have been as powerful and immediate as breathwork. We breathe every second of every day without thought, but conscious, intentional breathing is a different beast entirely. It’s a direct link to your nervous system. By controlling your breath, you can calm a racing mind, reduce stress, and bring yourself back to the present moment. For me, it’s the first line of defence against anxiety and the feeling of overwhelm.
My favourite technique, and the one I practise daily, is a simple 4,2,6 breathwork pattern. It’s easy to remember and incredibly effective. The numbers represent the count for each phase: inhaling, holding, and exhaling. The longer exhale is key. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the physiological ‘rest and digest’ switch that tells your body it’s safe to relax.
A Guided 4,2,6 Breathwork Script
Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. Gently close your eyes or soften your gaze.
- Preparation: Take a moment to simply notice your natural breath. Don’t try to change it, just observe. Notice the rise and fall of your chest and belly. Feel the air as it enters and leaves your nostrils.
- Inhale (Count of 4): On your next breath in, inhale slowly and deeply through your nose for a count of four. Feel your belly expand, followed by your chest. Think,
1... 2... 3... 4.... - Hold (Count of 2): Gently hold your breath at the top for a count of two.
1... 2.... - Exhale (Count of 6): Now, exhale slowly through your mouth with a soft whooshing sound for a count of six. Let all the air go. Feel your body soften and release any tension.
1... 2... 3... 4... 5... 6.... - Repeat: Continue this cycle for 5-10 minutes. Inhale for four, holding for two, and exhaling for six. Focus on the count and the physical sensations of your breath. If your mind wanders, gently guide it back to the rhythm of your breath.
- Completion: When you’re ready to finish, simply let your breath return to its natural rhythm. Take a moment to notice how you feel. Do you feel calmer? More centred?
This simple practice has become a powerful tool for me. It’s my instant reset button. It is a fundamental part of my midlife self-care routine.
After breathwork, the next layer of my non-negotiables is meditation and visualisation. People often confuse the two, but they serve different, complementary purposes. Meditation is about observing and accepting the present moment, while visualisation is about creating and manifesting the future. Together, they are a powerful combination for rewiring your brain and building the life you want.
I used to think meditation was about silencing my mind, and I would get frustrated when I couldn’t stop my thoughts. I now understand that meditation for midlife stress isn’t about having a blank mind or stopping your thoughts; it’s about learning to observe them without judgment. It’s like watching clouds pass in the sky. You see them, you acknowledge them, and you let them float on by. This practice has given me a sense of peace I never thought possible.
Visualisation, on the other hand, is an active practice. It’s about creating a clear mental picture of your future. It’s not magic, it’s a form of mental rehearsal. It’s about training your brain to see the possibilities and feel the emotions of a future you want to create. This is how I began to see myself as a person who was alcohol-free, purposeful, and resilient. I didn’t just hope for it, I visualised it.
The Visualisation Script, Manifesting Your New Life
Visualisation is a deeply personal process, but a guided script can help you get started. This script is based on what I do every morning. It’s designed to help you release the past and step into a new, more vibrant future. Find a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be disturbed.
Step 1: Ground Yourself
Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Gently close your eyes. Begin with the 4,2,6 breathwork. Take three full cycles, inhale for 4, hold for 2, exhale for 6. Feel the calm settle over you. Now, imagine a warm, gentle light entering the top of your head, like soft sunlight. This light begins to travel down through your body, relaxing every muscle it touches. Feel it move through your face, your neck, your shoulders, down your arms and into your fingertips. It moves through your chest, your abdomen, and down your hips and legs, all the way to the tips of your toes. You are completely relaxed, grounded, and at peace.
Step 2: Releasing the Past
In your mind’s eye, imagine you are standing on a calm, quiet beach. The sun is setting, casting a beautiful orange and pink glow across the water. In front of you is the vast ocean, and behind you is a dense forest. In your hand, you hold a small, smooth stone, which represents everything you are ready to let go of: the burnout, the old habits, the feeling of being stuck, the fatigue. Take a moment to infuse all those feelings into the stone, feel its weight, its heaviness.
Now, with a deep breath in, raise your arm and with a long, slow breath out, throw the stone as far as you can into the ocean. Watch it arc through the air, glinting in the last light of the sun, and plop into the water. As it sinks, you feel a profound sense of lightness. The past is now behind you. The weight is gone.
Step 3: Stepping into the Future
Turn around and face the forest. As you look into the trees, you notice a path, bathed in a soft, ethereal light. This path is your new journey. It’s your midlife reset path. Take a step onto the path. Feel the ground beneath your feet. As you walk, notice how you feel: lighter, more energetic, full of a sense of purpose.
You can now see a clear stream running alongside the path. This stream is pure, clean energy. Bend down and cup your hands, drinking from it. Feel the cool, clear water revitalise you from the inside out. This is the energy of a new life, a life of sobriety and vitality. As you stand up, you feel a new sense of strength and clarity.
Step 4: The Vision of Your New Self
Walk a little further down the path until you come to a beautiful clearing. In the centre of this clearing, there is a mirror. This mirror is a portal to your future. Look into it and see the person you are becoming. See yourself with a vibrant, inner glow. Your eyes are bright and full of life. You are smiling genuinely. In this vision, you are not just surviving, you are thriving.
Feel the joy of this person. What are you doing? Are you laughing with friends? Are you engaging in a new hobby? Are you working on a project that lights you up? Feel the gratitude for this future. See yourself finding joy without alcohol midlife, see yourself with a clear mind and a full heart. This is not a distant dream; it is your reality waiting to be lived.
Step 5, Returning to the Present
Take one last look at your future self in the mirror. Internalise that feeling of peace and purpose. Now, bring your awareness back to your body, back to the room where you are sitting or lying. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Take one last deep, cleansing breath. And when you are ready, gently open your eyes. You are now grounded and connected, ready to carry this feeling with you throughout your day.
This visualisation, combined with my daily breathwork, has been a game-changer. It has helped me find purpose after 40 truly embrace my age. It’s not about turning back the clock; it’s about setting a new one.
A Final Thought on Authenticity and the Journey Forward
My midlife reset has been a quiet, profound unfolding. It hasn’t been a flawless, upward trajectory. There have been moments of doubt, moments where the old habits called out to me. But each time, I’ve returned to my non-negotiables. I’ve leaned on the power of my breath to calm my mind and the clarity of my visualisation to remember my purpose.
What I’ve learned, and what I want you to know, is that your journey doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. You don’t need a rock bottom to start. You need a quiet moment of honesty and the courage to take one small, intentional step. This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present. It’s about choosing to live your life intentionally, rather than by chance. The tools of breathwork, meditation, and visualisation are yours to claim. They are free, always available, and incredibly powerful.
You are 57, 67, 47 or even 37; it doesn’t matter. What matters is right now. Are you ready to stop being tired of being tired? Are you ready to begin your reset? If so, I invite you to start with just five minutes of quiet. Five minutes of breathwork. Five minutes of vision. It’s the most loving, powerful thing you can do for yourself. This is your life. And it’s ready to be reset.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Please consult with a healthcare professional before making any significant changes to your lifestyle or health routine.
