Sober vs. Recovery: A New Journey Begins. I’ve been here before—stopped drinking, stayed sober for a while, and convinced myself I was fine. But if I’m honest—and I have to be, because there’s no progress without honesty—I’ve never truly recovered. I’ve never done the hard work of facing the demons, the triggers, and the emotions that have pulled me back down every single time.
In early 2024, I was sober for a few months. I’d like to tell you that it was different that time, that I’d found the magic key to lasting change. But the truth is, I fell off—no, let’s call it what it was—I jumped off the wagon. And for the tail end of 2024, I didn’t just fall; I hit the ground running. I kicked the arse out of it.
There were nights when a box of wine felt like a casual companion. At first, it felt comforting—a way to dull the noise, to silence the thoughts that kept me awake at night. But by the end of those nights, the comfort would turn into shame, regret, and a hollow sense of failure. It was a cycle, and every morning after felt heavier than the one before. Days when 16 cans of strong German beer barely felt like scratching the surface. And those aren’t boasts. I’m not proud of that; I’m ashamed. Ashamed of the mess, ashamed of the chaos, ashamed of the way I let myself down. But do you know what that period showed me? It showed me that I hadn’t recovered. I’d been sober, yes. But I hadn’t healed.
So, I started 2025 with a promise to myself. Not just to get sober—I’ve done that before. But to recover. To dig deep and deal with the shadows that kept dragging me back.
The Pledge: Sobriety vs. Recovery
For me, sobriety isn’t the end goal anymore. It’s the baseline. It’s the starting point. Getting sober is the easy part—and let me clarify, it’s not actually easy, but it’s simple. Anyone can stop drinking for a week, a month, or even longer. People do it all the time. Dry January. Sober October. And then back to the pub as if nothing happened.
But for me, drinking was never casual. It was never weekends-only, one glass with dinner, a casual pint with mates. For me, it was all or nothing. Once I started, I didn’t stop. And when I stopped, the silence was deafening.
This year, I’m not just focusing on putting the bottle down. I’m focusing on what made me pick it up in the first place.
Sobriety is the foundation, but recovery is the house you build on it. And like any solid structure, it requires time, effort, and the right tools. Recovery isn’t about abstaining—it’s about healing, it is about sober vs. recovery.
Facing the Demons
Recovery isn’t about willpower. If it were, I’d have cracked this years ago. I’ve had days where I’ve gritted my teeth, sworn to myself I’d stay sober, and still found myself reaching for a drink by the evening. Willpower runs out, especially when it’s up against years of habits, emotional baggage, and patterns that feel hardwired into your brain. Recovery isn’t about pushing through with sheer force—it’s about building a toolkit, understanding your triggers, and learning how to respond to them differently.
Recovery is about getting honest with yourself—painfully, brutally honest. It’s about staring down the barrel of your past and asking the questions you’ve been avoiding:
- Why do I drink?
- What am I running from?
- What emotions do I drown out with alcohol?
The answers aren’t pretty. They’re not neatly packaged, and they don’t make for fun dinner party conversation. But they’re necessary.
I’ve realised that my drinking was never really about the drink itself. It was about what the drink let me escape from. Loneliness. Guilt. A sense of failure. Fear of facing life without that crutch.
Recovery means facing those demons head-on. It means feeling emotions I’ve avoided for years and learning how to sit with them without reaching for a bottle.
The Hard Work of Recovery
Sobriety is like building scaffolding. It supports you, holds you steady, and gives you a safe space to start working on the real problem. But recovery? Recovery is the construction work. It’s messy, it’s loud, and sometimes it feels like you’re tearing down walls instead of building them.
For me, recovery means:
- Daily journaling to track my thoughts and triggers.
- Therapy, even when I don’t feel like talking.
- Regular exercise to keep my body strong while I heal my mind.
- Cold-water swimming, because sometimes you need something physical to remind you that you’re alive.
- Mindfulness, even when my mind is screaming.
- Connection with others who understand the journey.
These aren’t quick fixes. They’re daily practices, and some days, they feel pointless. I remember one morning, sitting with my journal, staring at the blank page. My head was a mess, my chest felt tight, and all I wanted was to shut it all out with a drink. But instead, I forced myself to write—even if it was nonsense, even if it felt forced. By the end of the page, something had shifted. It wasn’t a huge breakthrough, but it was enough to remind me why these small habits matter. Some days, the progress feels microscopic, but it’s still progress.
No More Excuses: Sober vs. Recovery
I’ve made every excuse in the book. I’ve blamed stress, heartbreak, bad luck, and bad days. But at the end of the day, the only person who can change my story is me.
Recovery doesn’t happen by accident. It’s a choice. Every day. Every hour, if need be.
Why This Time is Different
This time feels different because I’m no longer avoiding the truth—I’m facing it head-on. I’m not setting vague goals or making empty promises; I’m committing to the real, uncomfortable work of recovery, no matter how long it takes or how difficult it gets.
Join Me on This Journey
If you’re reading this and you see yourself in these words, know this: you’re not alone. Whether you’re at the start of your journey, stuck halfway, or just thinking about taking the first step, you’re not alone.
If you want to follow along, I’ll be sharing this journey on www.iancallaghan.co.uk/blog. The ups, the downs, the breakthroughs, and the setbacks.
Here’s to a year of truth, courage, and recovery. No more running. No more hiding. I’ve created a group where I will share guided meditations, journal prompts, daily exercises and lots more you can find it on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfulsobrietycollective
Just me, doing the work. They might live in constant emotional turmoil despite their sobriety. Without addressing these deeper layers on my sober vs. recovery journey.
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