The elephant in the room, the bogie man, the subject nobody wants to talk about, Erectile Dysfunction. Most men would deny ever having an issue but! As with all other men’s health and mental health matters, I have no issue with talking about this, have I suffered from Erectile Dysfunction yes, I have tried the blue pill and in all honesty, it is not for me.
My issue is not physical though I have physical issues such as prolapsed discs which can be a factor. I can gain an erection 99% of the time be that through masturbation or with a sexual partner, there have been times I could not maintain an erection completely. I know this is a psychological issue and that is why I turned to talk therapy. CBT, NLP, meditations. I signed up for an online course at Mojo, through the course you do meditations, exercises, pelvic floor exercises, and various other things. As I already know CBT, NLP, self-hypnosis, and deep meditation techniques it is very much a case of listening to my own advice and using the toolset that I already possess.
Erectile dysfunction is a common problem where a man finds it hard to get or keep an erection.
The main symptom of erectile dysfunction is not being able to get or keep an erection.
Treatment for erectile dysfunction depends on the cause. Treatments include medicines, vacuum pumps, healthy lifestyle changes, and talking therapy.
Causes
Nerve damage
Damage to the nerves which cause the erection leads to reduced sensitivity thus making it increasingly difficult to achieve an erection.
A disease of the blood vessels
The blood vessels become narrowed and hardened. This reduces the blood supply to the penis which can lead to impotence.
When the penis does not fill adequately then the veins will not be closed off and the blood will leak back out of the penis. The erection will not be maintained.
Trauma
Such as injury to the spinal cord.
Pelvic surgery
Some operations on the prostate, bladder, or bowel may result in some nerve damage leading to impotence.
Drugs
Some drugs for blood pressure, depression, and sedatives have the side effect of causing impotence.
Smoking and alcohol
Those who smoke and drink are more likely to suffer from impotence.
In men with diabetes, the most common cause of erectile dysfunction is a disease of the blood vessels and/or nerve damage.
Treatments
The best first step is to visit a sexual health clinic, many offer walk-in appointments. Here you will have blood pressure taken, and a genital screening to see if there is a physical issue.
Counseling
Counseling can be part or all of the treatment required.
Tablet treatment
First-line treatment for most patients is now tablet treatment using either avanafil, sildenafil, tadalafil, or vardenafil. Your GP will prescribe this for you in the first instance.
Hormone treatment
This is offered to those patients who are deficient in male hormones i.e. testosterone. Medication can restore the hormone imbalance and improve potency. This treatment will not have any effect on those who do not have a hormone imbalance.
Self-injection therapy
This treatment involves self-injecting a drug into the side of the penis each time you want to have an erection. The injection causes the muscle in the penis to relax allowing increased blood flow into the area.
Vacuum erection assistance devices
These are non-invasive methods of getting and sustaining an erection. To use this device the penis is inserted into a cylinder, using plenty of lubrication to ensure a good seal at the base of the penis. A small vacuum pump is attached to the other end of the cylinder. The pump creates a vacuum and this causes blood to be drawn into the penis thus causing an erection. A constriction ring is then placed onto the base of the penis to trap the blood in the penis and maintain an erectile state. The cylinder is then removed. The ring can be left in place for up to 30 minutes.
It has been a funny few months since I last wrote here, the title says it all Love Laugh Cry, I have done a bit of them all lately. I Have been at some of my lowest points and at some very high points during this time, the joys of mental health. Since the last post I have had times of zero communication with my daughter who herself has not been very well physically. I learnt that I am going to be a Granddad in December my first and it is going to be a boy. Ffion has turned 16 and well I am now 55, yes I know it is hard to believe.
I started a new contract and spent a week in Germany at the start of July, which is ongoing. The art has been very quiet though I have done one commission mannequin lamp that is now in Portsmouth and his name is Dave lol.
At the end of August, I had a week in West Wales in my little old caravan staying on the site that it used to be pitched on seasonally a few years back.
During the last few months, I have done quite a few videos from the river. Journaling in a way or vlogging about mental health and general stuff. I called them bollox from the river and they are up on my YouTube channel. Being in or near water is always a great soother of the mind. The plan is going in through the winter.
Middle of September I had a message from Ffion and we have been talking again I have seen her a few times as well. Lewis paid a visit as well the first time I had seen him since before covid started.
Mood swings
Between May and September, I hit some pretty low points and yes I had those thoughts, I had massive anxiety attacks and deep dark depression. Days where a trip to the toilet was about it for me. Going in the river and doing the videos really did help during those times, also talking to the few people who I know I can at any time helps. In doing the bollox from the river videos I found a release, it was my therapy room my antidepressant. So September drew to a close like I said I saw my children. Work was extended and I started talking to a rather nice young lady, it is early days but who knows?
So where am I now in the middle of October? Well, I have given myself a talking-to and started a better way of eating, it is not a diet. More a change of lifestyle. Having an accountability buddy who knows who she is really helping. I have set a definite target set, a goal that I will hit.
There we are that’s the last few months put to words, which is always a good thing. Love Laugh Cry there has been a bit of all of them the last few months. My success rate at getting through the shit times remains at 100%. I know what to do it is just a case of practising what I preach. Take care, you glorious bastards.
Where am I now? Right now I am feeling Depressed? Angry? Fear? Hurt? Alone? Empty? Scared? I guess all of those and more emotions. They are words they are not me, the same as if I had a broken leg I would say I have a broken leg not that I am a broken leg, I have depression, anxiety and other mental health issues I am not those things. I currently have those things, like I have hayfever I am not hayfever.
So what has put me back in the darkness that I find myself in, there are a number of things from not currently working, to lapsing back into drinking to excess. The number one thing is that I have not seen Ffion in almost a month, I message but rarely get a response. I get that she is almost 16 and has a number of her own issues and wants and needs her space, but it still breaks my heart that I get no response. I lived this before when I never spoke to Lewis for years. Each day I would beat myself up over that, it wasn’t until I went on my course as a personal development coach for PTSD and other stress-related illnesses that I dealt with “some” of my issues.
Alone
Yes, I am alone, as I have said on quite a few occasions in the past there is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely. We have just had Mental Health awareness week with the theme of loneliness. I am generally happy being alone I do my own thing be that my art, photography, or writing. Walking is quite often on my own and yes generally near water. I feel fine near the river or canal but always have those dark thoughts if I am near the coast alone, hence I generally go to the coast with my wild swim and walking buddy The Doofus.
I often sit by the river looking at the dark spots and seeing the current move along and think how easy nature could wrap her dark inky fingers around me and take me away. Release the pain that is deep inside me. The Anger, fear, resentment, frustration, and anxiety that I hold inside, so where am I now?
In all honesty, I do not know where I am now. The feelings are as low as I have been for a very long time, I have a few people I talk to but that is a very few, Having done more courses over the last several years, trained and read more books than I care to remember I have all the tools at my disposal to deal with how I feel and where I am. That being said like a builder who has several unfinished jobs, or a mechanic with a dodgy old car we neglect those things that are supposedly easiest for us to fix.
Fix
So where do I go from here, what do I do?
I have the answers and the tools it is just a question of putting them into action and carrying on with the process. After all that is all life is just a process, we create our own process or follow one that society deems fit for us. We live our lives and write our own stories or we are a bit part of someone else’s.
