Poetry and the Midnight Mind: A Path to Clarity and Connection
Poetry is more than just words on a page—it’s a way to unravel the tangled emotions that can consume us, especially in those restless hours when sleep won’t come. For me, poetry began with a simple piece for my daughter Ffion, and from there, it’s grown into a raw expression of life’s challenges, triumphs, and dark corners. Many of these verses emerge from sleepless nights, a mix of personal reflections and the harsh realities of mental health struggles. Here, we explore how poetry can be a lifeline for those who need to release, reflect, and connect. I have published a few books of poetry over the last few years.
Raw Expression
Poetry can hold what words alone struggle to say. For those of us wrestling with mental health, it’s a way to release the weight we carry. Whether it’s grief, anxiety, or the isolation that hits hardest at 3 a.m., poetry becomes a private sanctuary, a place where thoughts and emotions can breathe without judgment. Through writing and sharing, we find a language that speaks to our inner world, helping us confront and express what’s often left unsaid.
The Power of Reflection
Writing poetry isn’t just about release; it’s a practice of self-discovery. Each line becomes a mirror, forcing us to examine what lies beneath. In exploring these reflections, we start to uncover patterns, memories, and insights that lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves. This introspection can be a powerful tool for anyone grappling with mental health—it’s a way to piece together the fragments and make sense of the journey.
Finding Connection in the Dark
For those of us who spend hours alone with our thoughts, poetry can open a door to connection. Sharing poems allows us to say, I’ve been there too. Whether at a reading, a workshop, or even just between friends, poetry offers a space where others can see themselves in our words. It’s a chance to build a community, one bound not by shared perfection but by shared truth.
Poetry as Presence and Healing
The act of writing poetry can be grounding. Each line and each stanza brings us back to the present, focusing our thoughts on something beyond the spiral. In crafting poetry, there’s a mindfulness that slows down the racing mind, allowing space for acceptance and peace. For some, it’s a pathway to healing, a way to face what’s within and, through the act of creation, find a sense of calm.
Poetry is a bridge, one that takes us from isolation to understanding, from silence to shared experience. It’s a journey through the inner landscapes we often shy away from, a testament to the resilience that emerges from facing the shadows head-on. Whether it’s written for ourselves or shared with the world, poetry becomes a testament to survival, to healing, and, above all, to being truly, unapologetically alive.
POEMS and POETRY
Daddies Little Princess
There is a star that shines each night
So far away yet oh so bright
That star that shines and carries dreams
On that star, I send my kiss
To Daddies Princess that’s my wish
I send you reiki every day to help you on your way
Each morning when I hear your voice
Makes my day and heart rejoice
You are my world, my special girl
I love you so much every curl
I know that you will always be
Daddies’s little princes so special to me
And as you grow and blossom
I know you will be a special awesome
You can and will fulfil your dreams
Everyone is a little sunbeam
I send this poem from my heart
For you to read when we are apart
Daddie Little Princess my special girl
You are my life the reason why
My dreams for you reach the sky
So just be you and we all know
So special and awesome that you will grow
The Mind
We sit and let the mind wander free
The mind controls everything about me
Late-sat thoughts run wild
Pull them in control of the inner child
Darkness lets the monkey run
Running through your thoughts is no fun
I long for days of the summer sun
Long dark nights so sad the brain free to run
Pop to the pub company sought
Alone in the corner just the empty thought
Breathe deeply and push the thoughts away
Do not let the past hold you
Tell the subconscious to fuck right off
Don’t let the voice within hold tight
Free that voice control the night
Close your eyes and free the mind
Deep breath hold it there for the care
Open the heart give love to share
If you want to love you have to give love away
Free the inner thoughts that play
Tomorrow comes a day for you
A new day to let the mind play
I hate the dark that holds me tight
Free your mind and win the fight
Your choice your love
Give love to you give love set free
Love for me and love for you
Worth
Right now I’m as low as I have been
Lower than when I’ve had those deep dark thoughts
Right now I don’t know why I am here
So empty so low so worthless
I miss my Tinker so very much
Weeks of noting no contact no here
Mind not resting mind runs riot
Hate anger fear no point being here
What is the point what is my worth
Why am I here
Been here before with my boy
I have no reason I have no way
I sit and can not stop the cry
What is my worth when no answer
What is my worth so very low
Do I just let it go
Let them be free no need for me
So very empty heart torn so low
Do I just let it all go
No reason no matter no why am I here
I have no fear to let it go
No reason for me to hold for now
Hate and hurt let me be free
Torn heart and tears
Spiralling downwards deep dark despair
Long past thinking of caring anymore
Alone I drift into the dark thoughts
Mind playing tricks nobody cares
I hate myself and all I am
I have nothing to give I am empty
The ones I love have no need for me
Better without me, there’s nothing here
Hate self-loathing ugly mind
Long past the thought of being kind
I can not take any more of this
But can not pass the pain to others
Hurt alone so very low
Awaiting the darkness to envelop me
But I will still be here at sunrise
I will not put tears into others’ eyes
The thoughts are there but they are just that
No thought can take me
The mind so dark and deeply hurt
Hate and anger have no meaning have i
But I will not make you cry
The only tears fall from my eye
I will not hurt those I love
I will fight the demon
I will rise above
Dry the tears from my eye
But still, no reason why
I will not make you cry
I will not put tears in your eyes.
Friends
In my life, I treasure my friends
on my hands, I can count the treasured
true love and thoughts are seldom shared
care and kindness I share with a few
if I give my love it’s true
when thoughts and words I share
true love, I share is so very rare
heartbroken kindness put aside
my heart left open no thought inside
when love is given but not returned
a heart left torn no passion given
let it go and learn from the past
what’s meant to be will come true
kindness passion true love given
glass of wine in hand mind race
can you truly look into that face
true love and kindness put in place
heartfelt racing true care given
when that love is true no shades of blue
heart given mind engaged truly felt
let the meaningless drift by
true love a melting of the eye
love kindness is the last true emotion
hold them close let them free
love and kindness from you to me
Darkness
Nearly 3 am, no telly no sound all is quiet
Rain against the window breaks the silence
So very very lonely just my thoughts with me
The darkness out the window darkness in my mind
Will I find peace and sleep tonight
Fighting the mind’s dark corners seeking light
I know the reasons why I sit alone and cry
Thoughts run deep but I will not go that low
Hate and fear are not good enough that is me
Pain and anger loss and grief
Will, I ever be enough will I be the one
Not good enough just a good friend
An ear to listen to make you smile
Listening to you yet not listening to me
Here as ever for anyone with an ear to bend
The time I need to spend on me
The time that I listened to my words
Love not felt in oh so long
Other than my boy and my special girl
No love for me why should there be
No feelings of care for me to share
Self-medicate to hide the hate
drown the sorrows of self-loathing
Need to stop the self-hate
Is it now too late to beat the hate
As sunrise ends the night dark
I will not let the dark beat me
Gratitude
4 am silence, darkness and calm, soft pillows safe bed comforting quilt
Thank you
Dawn chorus before first light, blackbird jackdaw magpie and crow, finches wrens starling and tits, their joyful song chirps and shrieks embracing the start of the day.
Thank you
First light shades of pink purple orange and red, blue skies white clouds the view from my bed, the trees the hedges the bushes and shrubs, the abundant life forms that make it their home, beetle moth butterflies all manner of bugs.
Thank you
Warm coffee and tea juices and milk, bacon and eggs plump sausage and beans, the farmers up early tending the land growing and raising the things I’ve just said.
Thank you
Teachers of lessons both formal and street life books hardback paperback and audio, fantasy drama fiction and crime, true story biographies educational and verse, poems and stanzas words engage the mind.
Thank you
Music to lift to make move to laugh to cry whatever the mood, Bach Beethoven to Lennon and Sinatra, the clash the pistols the ruts the supremes, Otis Aretha Amy the jam.
Thank you
Journeys both near and far Canada Belize Bosnia France, the coast of West Wales the mountains of home, forests and glades rivers canals, golden beaches my toes in the sand, the clear blue water the crashing of waves, dark forbidden underground caves, canal and park city breaks, journeys and memories that no one can take.
Thank you
Warm woolly jumper scarf and hat, gloves and dry coat, flip flops and wellies t-shirt and shorts, casual and formal from scruffy to best.
Thank you
My cosy new flat will soon be home, new adventures and places to roam, friends near and far their ears I’ve bent some talk often others it’s rare but still knowing they are there.
Thank you
As I write this 5.50 am, safe and dry. My body and mind my general good health, mindfulness yoga reiki, inquisitive mind always wanting to learn, personal growth, neurons firing synapses made, a molecule of carbon this moment in time, great universe expanding beyond comprehension, the awe of the planets the stars Milky Way, nebulae gas giants exploding great reds, those things that created the life we have now.
Thank you
An attitude of gratitude is so easy to take for granted, a moment’s thought will show you how much you have to give gratitude for.
The tiny the vast the known and the not, look around and see how much you have got.
Darkness
Darkness wraps its silky hands
No sleep the mind too busy turning
Alone the only company the night
Fighting thoughts there is no light
Clock ticks and tocks
The pillow feels like it’s full of rocks
Toss and turn and to and throw
Lonely night the head so full
Watching the night sky
Wondering why I have no answers
With no distractions, the mind plays games
Will tomorrow bring an answer
No pattern or any joy that I have
Darkness’s grips are not the best
Is it just a subconscious test
Drifting briefly into sleep
Fleeting short never deep
Thoughts and images I will not keep
I know the mind will not win
My thoughts and vision in the dark
They are for me to choose
I will not succumb to the dark and lose
Each new day is a fresh new start
To live with purpose from the heart
I wonder who and what will play a part
Mine to choose and mine to grow
Night dark mind you hold no power
Only during the silent hours
I will not let that dark take hold
Favour graces the strong and bold
Light always follows dark
I choose the light of each new day.
Alone
Strength when in the dark
Alone in light and moon shadow
Alone in thoughts and feelings
But in reality, you’re not alone
Your thoughts your feelings
There’s always someone thinking
There’s always someone there for you
Your mind your thoughts
Conscious subconscious which controls
Truth or fantasy dream or reality
Darkness or light sun or rain
Alone in your thoughts
Alone in the night, the strength to fight
Laying in darkness alone and cold
Release that fear of that dark
You have the power you have the strength
No matter how dark no matter how cold
You’ve fought it before you’ll fight it again
You’re loved no matter your thoughts
You’re never alone there’s someone there
Cared for loved cherished desired
Never Alone never discarded
Always thought of here
Not just today but forever more
Just remember I’m always here
My life my mind my ears
Never suffer in the darkness alone
Nobody has the right to a throne
Strong or weak dark or light
We are here to fight the fight.
Led awake nights dark hours
The owls my night companions
Their calls split the night’s silence
The mind wanders here and there
No thoughts or care that matter
Wandering images drifting thoughts
No pattern or shape to the mind
Darkness envelopes it takes control
The thoughts the images in the mind’s eye
I let them drift not take control
The warmth of the quilt
Gratitude for its comfort and hold
Many do not have this pleasure
Simple things we take for granted
Many have nothing we have so much
Water warmth a loved one touch
I drift to darkness but do not stay
The mind’s images and thoughts
Temporary not holding I will not stay
Too much to live for today
Friends to talk to to hold my hand
Always someone there for me
Love a word so easily said
But when said in truth so deeply felt
Silence and darkness hold me tight
Sometimes bad but often good
The mind drifts and wanders
Thoughts scattered and lost
Sleep will come and rest the mind
The quilt its warmth holding tight
See me through the dark cold night
Mornings light a brand-new day
New beginnings new opportunities mine to choose
Take the day each minute and hour
Cherish and hold each second true
Love and gratitude will see you through
I AM ENOUGH
I am enough
When you look in the mirror
The mirror of self-doubt
The reflection of you looking at me
You have that feeling of not being enough
Flawed by society the media your peer
You feel not worthy of not fitting their design
They tell you that you need this and that to shine
When that reflection looks back at you
Tell it you love it that’s the best you
Self love we’re told is vanity and ego
Learn to love yourself as you love others
You’re worth it all and so much more
Love yourself to the core
If you can not love yourself with no fear
Then how can you love those you hold dear
Forget the bullshit that you don’t fit
Ignore that blemish stray hair or zit
Society tells us how we should be
It’s bullishit and lies that feeds wet eyes
Wipe those tears and say to yourself
I am enough for me and you
The you is your inner self
Self-love and care make them be
The number one thing top priority
Mind
Early morning nothing stirs.
The minds awake the body not.
Broken sleep not fully rested
.A glass of water a cup of tea
The dog let out he’s had a pee
The simplicity of a dog mind
Not busy overthinking just simple thoughts
He’s back asleep chasing cats
I watch him rest as I write
It’s often done still in the night
5 hours before you fall asleep
Now wide awake no chance of more
Write these words and maybe draw
No checking social media
The thief of time stays offline
Who will read these words today
Clarity and focus are better now
No Facebook feed to cloud the mind
Better use of the day no memes shit videos
No mundane questions or pointless posts
What did we do in a time gone by
Before our lives a highlight reel became
Real life is so much more
Don’t let the online cloud your mind
My mindfulness practice gives me time
Gratitude journal just three things I note
We have so much but chase yet more
The media say we need these things
When you take that crap away
You notice the beauty of the day
Seasons
Words rhyme in a set order
Poetry stanza who cares
The sentiment it carries
The person in the thoughts
Purpose passion emotions in lines
Light-hearted deep meaning
The mind wanders it loses track
The colours of autumn soon to be
Woodland walks the leaves under feet
Coastal storms the crashing of waves
Warm catchy clothing hand in hand
Tree-lined path or soft golden sand
Treasured moments shared
As autumn and nature show their best
Sharing special moments sunsets held close
Squally winds trees losing leaves
Blustery walks sheltered by trees
Dogs chasing squirrels crows overhead
Spending this time with someone so special
Nights draw in summer sun gone
The swallows and Swift have long since gone
Treasured moments in nature display
1 in 4
A clear blue sky to welcome the day
But in my head, it’s often grey
The morning commute the crowded train
1 in 4 suffering an invisible pain
The odd fleeting smile passed here and there
Conversation is rare no words to share
Mile by mile the clattering train
An anxious noisy busy brain
Newspapers read books of all kinds
So often it’s phones or tablets in use
Face down on social media
Detached from all that are near
Technology bringing global fear
Watching people go on their way
To offices so uniform they’re all alike
Passing those less fortunate than us
A doorway a blanket their shield from pain
So if you’re walking the black dog alone
Put down the tablet the paper and the phone
A simple hello a have a nice day
May just be enough to brighten a day.
Friendship
For as long as I recall
As long as I remember
January September through November
For as long as I know
A true friend you’ve been
There’s been the bad and the good
We grew up in the hood
We talk truthfully don’t mince our words
We read the same books
Expanding our minds
You are so nice you are so kind
No matter where no matter when
You always will be my bestie
My one true friend
Deleted and blocked
Hid from and scared
The truth is I always cared
Love and friendship
Truth and care yes it’s true
My friend forever
Yes that’s you
Tears
I have no idea why I sit here alone and cry
no reason I can find makes my eyes run
alone not lonely such different things
feeling sad why is it so bad
feelings lost for reasons I do know not why
eyes run I can not help but cry
hurt for now but will not last
as the sun rises each day
and storms pass by
I will not always cry
as the sun rises each new day
this feeling will not stay
temporary pain I hold it now
but that feeling will go
I hate how now I feel so low
but will not let that feeling grow
my thoughts my mind I will turn it to be kind