Nature the outdoors and mental health

I have written about this subject in the past the power of Nature the outdoors and mental health. We are living in very strange times. Nature the outdoors and mental health, my medicine, my antidepressants, my therapy room and all free of cost to myself and the NHS.

I have suffered from mental health issues for longer than I have ever admitted to anyone. The first time I saw a doctor regarding my mental health was over 20 years ago, I was prescribed antidepressants and signed off work. As with every other time I have talked with anyone I sort of brushed it aside, never took the meds and self-medicated in one way or another with drink and drugs.

I have drunk since I was a teen and at times taken various recreational drugs. Along with smoking, I have not touched any form of drug in well over 15 years and in that time I have had no desire or need to use them since. I have gone periods of time without drink be that at times in the army where it was not permitted and other times I have chosen to myself. The thing is I always drift back to it starting with the odd beer and escalating to binge drinking anything and everything that has been in the house, the last time that was 6 beers, 2.5 bottles of wine and half a bottle of gin. My theory if I drink it all then there’s none here for me to drink.

The Outdoors

There is one constant throughout my whole life, when I get down, feel shit or need time then it is the outdoors I go to. Ever since I was a child I have loved the outdoors and in particular water, I tend to gravitate towards water. When I was younger it would be fishing, swimming in the brook, the acid pool or riding our homemade bikes to gypos tump a spot on the river Usk where we would spend the day. We would be out from the time we got up until shouts rang out around the streets of mum’s calling us in. Back then I doubt any of us or many others realised the benefits of nature the outdoors and mental health.

Taken from MIND the mental health charity.

Spending time in green space or bringing nature into your everyday life can benefit both your mental and physical wellbeing. For example, doing things like growing food or flowers, exercising outdoors or being around animals can have lots of positive effects. It can:

improve your mood
reduce feelings of stress or anger
help you take time out and feel more relaxed
improve your physical health
improve your confidence and self-esteem
help you be more active
help you make new connections
provide peer support.

My escape

Every day I give gratitude for having easy access to green spaces, from my door I can walk into the Brecon Beacons national park along the Monmouthshire and Brecon canal, walk the other way and I can walk the Usk Valley Walk. This super waterside walk follows the River Usk, the Monmouthshire and Brecon Canal and the Brecon and Newport Canal from Caerleon to Brecon. The walk passes through Abergavenny and Usk and is enclosed by beautiful hills for the whole of its length. There are numerous woodland walks within easy access as well. There are numerous images of my walks in the gallery of my photography. My other escape in normal times outside these crazy pandemic times is the coast, I love the sea be it being by the sea or in and on the water. West Wales is my spiritual home and has a special draw for me.

My medicine

I have no doubt that being outdoors boosts my mental health and well being. The boost to my vitamin D from exposure to sunlight. Physical benefits to health be it from walking, riding my bike or doing things in and on the water. There are of course numerous benefits to mental health from exercise. I have never enjoyed running even when I was fit and healthy it is not the exercise for me, I can walk for miles, ride my bike for hours (after I get the bum accustomed to the saddle again).

During this episode of poor mental health and this crazy period in our lives. I have got out for my walks when at my lowest, spent time along the canal and river. Foraged wild garlic on the banks of the Usk while observing nature that seems to be in abundance right now, down to the millions of tadpoles in the canal right now. I have sat in the woods meditating while squirrels run less than 6foot from me going about their daily business.

Nature and the outdoors are truly remarkable in the power they have to ground us and change our whole physiology in such a short space of time.

I realise not everybody has access to such amazing green spaces such as I do. We all, in general, have access to some green space. I grew up on one of Newport’s toughest estates but still spent time in nature. Escaping the urban concrete jungle to spend time in the woods, fields, streams and ponds. Give it a go and get outdoors you will not regret it.

Until next time take care and love to you all.

Coasteering and kayaking

Coasteering and Kayaking in Pembrokeshire National Park

This post is a bit of a break from my normal posts but something I will be doing more of showing a bit of the other side of me away from my passion for cooking. Coasteering and kayaking, I love to be in or around the water and swim in the sea around West Wales and the local rivers year-round generally in just shorts whatever the time of year or water temp. After a swim in water between 7 and 12c, most people give you strange looks when you are walking towards the sea in December in just shorts as they are wrapped up in all the winter gear drinking hot chocolate from the beachside cafe.

When I opened my birthday cards this year the one from my girlfriend and daughter had a message “enjoy your coasteering Wales and kayaking in St David’s”. Coasteering is something I have wanted to do for quite a while now but have never managed to get around to it, I have done kayaking in the past and really enjoy the views it gives you as you explore areas of the coast seldom seen.

Pembrokeshire national park coastline

The backdrop to the day’s activities, the company that I was entrusting life and limb with to guide me along with cliff faces and jumping from varying heights of cliffs was TYF Adventure. They were the innovators of coasteering and have an amazing ethos they are members of 1% For The Planet last year donating over 12k to rainforest protection saving an area the size of Wales. This year the funds are going to EDUcat, Helping to transform young people into sustainable innovation change-makers. The challenges that eduCAT presents to pupils are real issues that organisations are experiencing in adapting to the immediate and long term impacts of sustainability, climate change, resource availability and food security.

They are also carbon neutral the first outdoor adventure company in the world to do this, all this shows that they not only take people on life-changing, adrenalin-filled adventures but they care for and protect the environment in which they do it. Making sure that the generations to follow can enjoy these activities in the real world rather than via a video game console.

Our Guide

My guide for the day’s activities was John Byrom, after the formalities of form filling for emergency contacts etc John talked us through the morning plan and got us kitted out for the coasteering. Wetsuit, buoyancy aid, helmets, after all, some of the jumps were around the 7m mark so safety is of paramount importance. After getting ready there was a 15-minute walk to where we would enter the water for the fun to begin. On the walk to St Nons, we were told of the history of the area, St Nons is the birthplace of St David the patron saint of Wales it is said that Non took shelter in a chapel during a particularly violent storm and gave birth to Dewi later to become Dewi Sant patron saint of Wales.

Coasteering

Our group for the day was 5 plus John, after the short walk along the coastal path we came to a grassy area and were informed this would be our entrance to the start point for the coasteering. To me and the group it looked like a rather large cliff face without John’s knowledge we would not have even known that you could reach the sea there, following his lead we made our way down to the waters edge well I say edge it was a couple of meters above the water and we were informed this would be a good start point. After my telling the group I generally swam in the sea year round san wetsuit it seemed I was to be the first in so in I went, what many people do not realise is that the sea temperature around this time of year is at its peak not the summer months that many think, the water was around 15c and with a wetsuit and wetsuit socks under my trainers the water was in my view perfect.

Into the sea

At our entry point is a very famous coasteering point known as the toilet, no not due to it being full of nasty things but due to the action the water takes it rises up a small gully then flushes back down, you are carried up by the surf then pulled back down my coming down was rather undignified. I was thrown upside down and came down face first, this was a hell of baptism to coasteering but an amazing adrenalin rush. We swam a short distance from this toilet and climbed along the cliff face coming to a jump of around 3m to cross to a small island with what we would discover was a jump that in fact was to be a belly flop to avoid shallow rocks to get back across to the main cliff face.

The lower cliffs are covered in barnacles that make for amazing foot grips but not the kindest to hands. A few more jumps and we came to a cove that was called the underwater challenge. The challenge is to dive and swim underwater to the opposite side, swimming underwater in just a wetsuit is a challenge itself due to buoyancy. add in a buoyancy aid and it gets very difficult other than John the guide who I know believe is part fish due to him swimming there and partway back only 2 others made it all the way me not being one of them.

Along the way, John pointed out various wildlife including a number of sea anemone, birds and shellfish all adding to the experience.

Cliffs

We came to what was to be the pinnacle of the morning activity a cove with a cliff face that to all intents and purpose could have been carved out for coasteering jumps starting at around 4m it looked as if there were actual steps leading up to the highest jump we would do which was around 7m. After doing several jumps building up to the final jump I stood on the edge looking down. I am not afraid of heights but standing on a cliff edge 7m above the water was still a bit daunting but I took the plunge and threw myself off the cliff into the amazingly clear blue water. The adrenalin was running and the feeling was amazing, this is something people should add to there bucket lists of things to do.

Swim

After a swim back across the cove, we climbed the rocks back to the coastal path John pointing out Samphire and sorrel along the way, of course, this was of interest to me being so much of a foodie. A walk back to the centre changing facilities before a break for lunch and then just myself and John doing an afternoon of kayaking.

Kayaking start point

Harbour entrance for kayaking

The afternoon’s activity was sea kayaking I was the only person doing this so after a short drive to the harbour at Porth Clais on the River Allun. A short walk along the coastal path to the harbour wall and the racks of TYF Adventure kayaks it was time to start exploring the stunning coastal national park from a viewpoint many people never see. My choice was a sit-on kayak and john a traditional sit-in, the weather had taken a turn for the worse from the morning sun and had started to rain this failed to put a damper on things and we set off.

We stayed close to the coast and explored a number of small channels some I had doubts the kayak would go through but with the surf, it carried you through. Being this close to the cliffs you see far more than you ever would whilst walking the coastal path or even on a tour boat as you could never get as close or access the places you can on a kayak. After a while we came to a channel that leads to Cathedral cave this was awe-inspiring and something very few people actually get to see the only way being by kayak.

Weather

Our weather for the afternoon took a turn for the worse despite the rain, this was an amazing journey along our only coastal national park seeing wildlife up so close is always a pleasure being so in touch with their environment added to this.

After around two and a half hours and only due to my hips aching we made our way back to the harbour where we had started our journey.

This was without doubt one of the best days I have had in many a year and was an amazing birthday present.

I would like to thank John Byrom and all the staff at TYF Adventure for an adrenalin-filled fantastic day, I can not think of many better ways to spend a day than exploring what is a national treasure in the coastal national park with people who care for it and enjoy showing others what it truly holds for us all to enjoy if you get the chance do the coasteering it is a definite to add to any bucket list and will excite even the hardened adrenalin junkies out there.

Depression, Addiction, self-medicating

Depression, Addiction, Self-Medicating

Where to start with this post about depression, addiction, self-medicating. Along with wit depression or any mental health issue, the first step to recovery is admitting to yourself that you have a problem. So I have never admitted to myself or anyone else that I have been addicted to anything, I have drunk to excess since I was a teenager, that carried on in the army and now I sit and write this I guess all my life. I always have been an all or nothing, I have gone months without a drop. There have been points in my life where there have been other vices with the drink and again it was all or nothing. Having never bought into the addictive personality thing like I say I have dropped things for long periods of time. I have not touched any recreational drugs in over 20 years and know I never will again. I went from smoking 40+ a day to quitting overnight that was 15 years ago and again I know I will never smoke again.

So why is it that whenever the black dog comes barking in my head do I go back to self-medicating with booze and yes it’s all or nothing, I can’t do a glass of wine or a few cans, I dare not get tonic or the gin that’s sat here for god knows how long would go as well and most probably in one go. I stopped the prescription antidepressants months ago as they turned me into a zombie, self-imposed lockdown but worse than what we are all doing now, I lost days at a time not knowing where I was or what I was doing. I guess one saving grace on this lockdown is that I have not gone to the shops to get booze and have restricted myself in general and have managed my intake pretty well.

The past

In the past, I have made pledges to certain people to curb my drinking and have done it, but in reality, it has cost me so much in life, even going back to my time in the Army drink cost me dearly on more than one occasion. I was Ian the drinker, I would kick the arse out of it and end up in the shit, twice leading to times in the regimental jail. The second cost me promotion and progression in my career, did I Learn the simple answer is no, did I listen again no I knew better didn’t I, thought I was the lad, in reality, I was a fool.

New beginnings

So what has brought me to here today, to put words down and write this post about depression, addiction, self-medicating? I feel alone, it is strange not having Ffion and Frank here on a Sunday, I had Ffion for most of the week so she is at home this weekend. The lockdown and isolation compound the matter, even though I am not the most social animal there is social interaction I do miss, even a trip to the shop you would strike up a conversation, now we all keep the distance do our bit in and out, the only conversation being would you like cash back, no thanks got no need for cash at the moment.

Yesterday I put an audiobook on and listened to the whole book. Russell Brand Addiction, I went off the bloke a few years back with all his political bollox, but he actually talks sense and as he says in the book he has been there. I have brushed it under the carpet over and over, after listening to the audiobook I downloaded the exercises and I am starting them, writing it all down in one of the numerous notebooks I have laying around. This morning I did my mindfulness, my meditation, I filled in my gratitude journal. I have taken the first steps, I will get on the road to recovery from depression, addiction, self-medicating.

So what next

I know I need to change things, I know what I need to do and how to do it. Another chapter moving on letting the past go but learning from it, I have other addictions I need to work on as well and will probably write another post regarding those, the plan is to put all of this into a book to chronicle my fight and how I have and how I continue to fight it. I am not looking for pity or anything like that, writing helps me along with the cooking, even with the cooking I am writing down the recipes etc and putting them on my other site. I wanted to keep both sides of the journey separate but together if that makes sense.

In the coming weeks I plan on doing a lot more of my meditation and will be recording some guided meditations to add to this site, they do work and I can honestly say they have been one of my saving graces. Another is a very small group of people who I talk to who check-in I will not name them here but they know who they are, they have got me out of the deepest holes at times I saw no way out, without talking to them I don’t know where I would be now.

Anyway it’s Sunday and I have another cooking video to do, chicken jalfrezi today, see another addiction but in general a healthy one that brings joy not hurt.

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