Ah, New Year Resolutions —when we all collectively pretend that January 1 is some magical reset button. Suddenly, social media is full of “new year, new me” posts, gyms are rammed, and everyone’s vowing to quit chocolate, booze, or whatever guilty pleasure gets them through the winter. Fast forward two weeks and most of us are back to scoffing biscuits in our pyjamas while our resolutions gather dust. Sound familiar? Yeah, I’ve been there.
Here’s the thing: New Year’s resolutions are bollocks. It’s not you; it’s the system. Resolutions are like putting a plaster on a broken leg—they don’t fix anything because they’re built on hype, guilt, and unrealistic expectations. So instead of beating yourself up, let’s explore why resolutions fail and how you can set goals that work. For more insights, check out our Pillars of Men’s Personal Development for effective growth strategies.
10 Myths About New Year’s Resolutions (And Why They’re Total Crap)
Before I get to the good stuff, let’s rip apart some of the utter nonsense surrounding resolutions.
MYTH 1: Resolutions fail because you’re lazy.
FACT: Laziness isn’t the problem—it’s the lack of a bloody plan. Saying “get fit” is about as useful as shouting into the void. Instead, try something specific like “walk 10 minutes a day.” Small steps, mate.
MYTH 2: January 1 is the perfect fresh start.
FACT: Newsflash: the calendar doesn’t care about your goals. You can start changing your life any day—whether it’s a random Thursday in March or after your second coffee tomorrow.
MYTH 3: Resolutions create lasting habits.
FACT: Habits don’t just magically appear because it’s January. They’re built through systems and consistency. Motivation will fizzle out faster than your New Year’s Eve champagne. Systems stick—hype doesn’t.
MYTH 4: Go big or go home.
FACT: Nope. Going big often leads to burnout and disappointment. Want to run a marathon? Start by jogging around the block without sounding like you’re auditioning for Darth Vader.
MYTH 5: Resolutions will “fix” you.
FACT: You don’t need fixing. Growth isn’t about becoming someone else; it’s about evolving into the best version of you. You’re not a broken toaster—stop treating yourself like one.
MYTH 6: Telling everyone your goals will make them happen.
FACT: Sharing your goals might make you feel good for five minutes, but it doesn’t mean sh*t without a proper plan. Focus on action, not applause.
MYTH 7: Following trends guarantees success.
FACT: Just because “Dry January” is trending doesn’t mean it’s for you. Set goals that align with your values—not what’s fashionable.
MYTH 8: Failure means it’s game over.
FACT: Failure is part of the process, mate. It’s just feedback. Struggling to run every morning? Try evening runs. Can’t meditate for 20 minutes? Start with two. Adjust, adapt, and keep going.
MYTH 9: You’ll smash all your goals this year.
FACT: Life happens. Priorities shift. Flexibility is key. What feels right in January might not even matter come July—and that’s okay.
MYTH 10: Resolutions are the only way to grow.
FACT: Growth doesn’t give a toss about New Year’s. It’s a lifelong process built on reflection, intention, and action—not a list of resolutions you’ll forget by February.
A Smarter Way: “The 3 Most Important Questions”
Forget resolutions. Instead, try a holistic approach to goal-setting that works. Enter The 3 Most Important Questions. This framework doesn’t just help you set goals—it helps you design a life you love.
Here’s how it works:
1. Experiences: What Do You Want to Do?
Life isn’t just about ticking boxes. It’s about creating moments that make you feel alive. So, what experiences do you want to create this year?
Examples:
Eat gelato on a gondola in Venice.
Dance like no one’s watching (even if they are).
Take your kids camping and tell ghost stories under the stars.
These aren’t about impressing anyone. They’re about living.
2. Growth: How Do You Want to Evolve?
This isn’t about fixing yourself—it’s about levelling up in ways that excite you. What do you want to learn or improve?
Examples:
Finally, learn Spanish so you can flirt at a tapas bar.
Get better at public speaking without sweating buckets.
Develop stress-busting habits, so life doesn’t feel like a constant sh*tstorm.
3. Contribution: How Do You Want to Give Back?
True fulfilment comes from helping others. What impact do you want to have on the world?
Examples:
Mentor someone who reminds you of your younger self.
Volunteer at an animal shelter and cuddle some furry friends.
Start a community garden to teach people how to grow their food.
How to Turn These Goals Into Reality
Write It Down Take an hour to answer the three questions. Be honest—this isn’t about what sounds impressive; it’s about what excites you.
Break It Down Big dreams need small steps. Want to learn guitar? Start with 10 minutes a day. Want to volunteer? Research local charities first.
Stay Flexible Life changes, and so should your goals. Check-in monthly or quarterly and tweak as needed.
Celebrate Wins Don’t wait for the big milestones—celebrate every step forward. You’re doing great.
Why This Approach Works
It’s Realistic: You’re not aiming for perfection; you’re building a life that feels good.
It’s Personal: These goals are yours, not what society expects.
It’s Sustainable: Slow, steady progress beats flashy resolutions every time.
Final Thoughts
New Year’s resolutions might sound great, but they rarely deliver. Instead of chasing fleeting promises, focus on experiences, growth, and contributions that mean something to you.
So, forget “new year, new me.” You don’t need to reinvent yourself—you just need to keep growing into the amazing person you already are.
What’s your plan for the year? Share your experiences, growth goals, or contributions below—I’d love to hear them!
Embrace the Benefits ofCold Exposure: Transform Your Body, Mind, and Life Let me ask you a question: when was the last time you leaned into discomfort and came out stronger on the other side? For me, one of the most powerful turning points in my life wasn’t in a gym or an office—it was in the icy grip of cold water, teaching me lessons about resilience, clarity, and control that I carry with me every day.
That’s the transformative power of cold exposure, and it’s what my eBook, Embrace the Chill, is all about. If you’re ready to boost your health, sharpen your focus, and unlock your full potential, read on.
What Are the Benefits of Cold Exposure?
Cold exposure is a practice as old as time, used to improve physical and mental resilience. Whether it’s stepping into a cold shower, submerging in an ice bath, or swimming in open water, the benefits go far beyond the initial discomfort.
Here are some of the life-changing benefits you can expect:
💡 Boost Mood and Reduce Stress Cold exposure triggers the release of endorphins, your body’s natural “feel-good” hormones, helping you manage stress and elevate your mood.
🔥 Increase Energy and Metabolism Activating brown fat through cold exposure enhances your metabolism and keeps your energy levels steady throughout the day.
🛡️ Strengthen Immunity Regular exposure to cold can improve your body’s resilience to illness by stimulating your immune system.
🏃♂️ Speed Up Recovery For athletes and fitness enthusiasts, cold exposure reduces muscle soreness and inflammation, helping you bounce back faster after tough workouts.
🧘 Cultivate Mental Clarity Facing the cold teaches focus and control, sharpening your mental toughness in ways that spill over into every area of life.
Why I Wrote Embrace the Chill
A few years ago, I hit a wall. Stress and self-doubt were ruling my life, and I felt like I was always running on empty. I needed something to shake me out of my rut. That’s when I discovered the practice of cold exposure.
My first cold shower was, honestly, brutal. Every instinct told me to turn the tap back to warm. But something shifted when I stayed. Day by day, I built up my tolerance—not just to the cold but to discomfort in general. Over time, I felt calmer, more energized, and, most importantly, more in control.
Cold exposure became a cornerstone of my health and mindset journey, and I knew I had to share it. Embrace the Chill is your guide to starting small, staying consistent, and experiencing the transformative power of cold exposure for yourself.
What’s Inside Embrace the Chill
This eBook isn’t just about taking cold showers or plunging into icy waters—it’s about creating a sustainable, transformative practice. Here’s what you’ll learn:
1. The Science of Cold Exposure
Understand the research behind cold exposure and why it has such profound effects on your mind and body.
2. Proven Cold Exposure Techniques
From invigorating cold showers to ice baths and wild swimming, you’ll learn step-by-step methods to integrate cold exposure into your life.
3. Mental Preparation and Overcoming Fear
The hardest part of cold exposure isn’t the water—it’s your mindset. I’ll guide you through strategies to overcome mental barriers and build confidence.
4. Real-Life Success Stories
Be inspired by people who’ve transformed their lives through the practice of cold exposure, proving that it’s not just for the brave—it’s for anyone willing to try.
5. Long-Term Benefits and Habit-Building Tips
Cold exposure is about more than short-term wins. This eBook helps you turn it into a habit that continually improves your physical and mental well-being.
Why Cold Exposure Changed My Life
I’ll be honest: cold exposure isn’t easy. It’s not supposed to be. But that’s what makes it so powerful. It forces you to embrace discomfort, stay present, and push through when your mind tells you to quit. Over time, I realized that these small moments of courage were spilling into other areas of my life.
I became less reactive, more focused, and better equipped to handle stress. I started recovering faster from workouts and had more energy throughout the day. And the best part? I found a sense of calm and clarity that I hadn’t experienced in years.
Who Is Embrace the Chill For?
This eBook is perfect for:
Professionals looking to reduce stress and improve focus.
Athletes wanting to optimize recovery and build resilience.
Anyone ready to step out of their comfort zone and embrace growth.
How to Get Started with Cold Exposure
The beauty of cold exposure is that it’s accessible to everyone. You don’t need expensive equipment or hours of free time—just a willingness to try. Start with 30 seconds at the end of your shower. Focus on your breathing, stay calm, and see how you feel afterwards. Each day, add a little more time. Progress at your own pace, and soon, you’ll be reaping the benefits.
Why Download Embrace the Chill?
If you’ve ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, or in need of a reset, this eBook is for you. Embrace the Chill is more than a guide—it’s a step-by-step roadmap to unlocking the life-changing benefits of cold exposure. You’ll learn practical techniques, gain a deeper understanding of the practice, and find inspiration to push your limits.
📖 Download your copy of Embrace the Chill today and start transforming your life—one cold shower at a time.
Final Thoughts: Embrace the Discomfort
Growth doesn’t happen when you’re comfortable. It happens when you step into the unknown, face the challenge, and push through. Cold exposure is the perfect metaphor for life: sometimes, it’s tough. But on the other side is clarity, strength, and resilience you didn’t know you had.
Are you ready to embrace the chill and discover the benefits of cold exposure? Your transformation starts here.
Let me know in the comments: have you tried cold exposure? What’s your biggest fear or hesitation? Or, if you’re already practising, how has it changed your life? Let’s start a conversation and inspire each other. ❄️💪
Men’s mental health is often an unspoken struggle. From an early age, men are conditioned to suppress their emotions and to always appear tough and unbreakable. I remember many times when I felt the pressure to be the strong one, to keep it together, and to never let anyone see the cracks beneath the surface. I’ve lived that reality myself—feeling like I had to shoulder the burden alone, showing no vulnerability. The societal expectation for men to “tough it out” perpetuates the idea that vulnerability is weakness, and for a long time, I believed it too.
But there comes a point where keeping everything locked down starts to break you apart internally. I’ve been there—hitting rock bottom, staring into the abyss more times than I care to count. In those moments, I realized that something had to change—that I couldn’t keep living like this. I grew up thinking that staying silent and staying strong was the way to manage my mental battles. I masked my pain behind smiles, laughed it off, and tried to drown it out. The truth is, I didn’t think anyone would understand, and I didn’t want to confront it myself.
The stigma surrounding male vulnerability is pervasive. From a young age, we are taught that emotional openness equates to weakness. We hear it in phrases like “man up” or “boys don’t cry,” and we see it in how the media portrays men—always stoic, always in control. These messages take root, and they shape our understanding of what it means to be a man. We feel pressure to be the unbreakable rock, the provider, the protector. But when that rock starts to crack under pressure, it can feel incredibly isolating. It’s like wearing armor that grows heavier every day, while no one sees the weight beneath.
This conditioning leads to a deep-seated fear of vulnerability, even with those closest to us. When men are taught to keep their emotions locked away, we begin to lose touch with what we feel. We stop recognizing the signals our minds and bodies are giving us, which ultimately can lead to a breaking point. This facade of unshakable strength has a cost—it takes away the ability to connect genuinely, ask for help, and heal.
The Turning Point
There was a night when everything became too much to bear. I remember sitting there, alone, staring at the walls, feeling an overwhelming sense of hopelessness and exhaustion. I felt like I had run out of road and that every option had slipped away. But then, something shifted inside me—“Enough. This isn’t strength—this is just surviving.” I realized that I was not living, only existing from day to day. That realization marked a turning point.
I decided to start talking. At first, it was only a few words to close friends. Eventually, I shared the real, unfiltered truth. And surprisingly, it didn’t break me—it saved me. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it requires immense courage. Telling someone “I’m not okay” demands a kind of strength that no stoicism can match. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done, but it was also incredibly freeing.
It wasn’t just the act of talking that helped—it was being truly heard. It was seeing understanding in a friend’s eyes, feeling their compassion, and knowing that I wasn’t alone. The connections I had been missing were there all along, waiting for me to reach out. That moment of honesty was the first step in tearing down the walls I had built around myself, opening doors I never imagined I could walk through.
Sharing became a powerful tool. By opening up, I started connecting with people on a much deeper level than I ever had before. I realized that many of my friends had faced or were facing similar struggles, but we had all been too conditioned to speak about it. Suddenly, what I had felt for so long—thinking I was alone—was no longer the case. There was immense power in the realization that others understood my pain and that I wasn’t alone. Vulnerability forged connections that silence never could.
The Reality of Men’s Mental Health
Here’s the reality: 1 in 8 men in the UK will face a mental health challenge. Even more alarming, 3 out of every 4 suicides are men. These are not just statistics—they represent real people: friends, neighbours, family members. The impact ripples through entire communities, leaving behind grief and unanswered questions. These numbers are real, and I know how easily I could have been one of them. This fight is personal; it’s about the people we care about and the lives we have a chance to save. These aren’t just numbers—they’re fathers, brothers, friends… people we all know and love.
We didn’t arrive here by accident. Society has conditioned men to believe that strength means being silent and self-sufficient. I grew up with that mindset, and it almost destroyed me. The concept of “manning up” isn’t just harmful—it’s lethal. To break this cycle, we need to redefine what it means to be strong.
True strength isn’t found in silence. Real strength lies in reaching out, in asking for help, and in being open to receiving it. It means challenging the narrative that we must handle everything alone. Every time we openly discuss mental health, we chip away at the stigma built over generations. We permit ourselves to feel, to struggle, and to seek support.
We need to understand the ripple effects of these struggles. When a man faces mental health challenges in silence, it doesn’t just affect him; it impacts his family, his friends, and his work. Mental health is not isolated—it is interconnected. Breaking the silence and creating openness can help prevent the devastation that ripples outward. The strength to acknowledge and voice struggles isn’t just for us; it is for everyone around us.
Taking Action: Changing the Narrative
So, what can we do? Because it doesn’t have to be this way. Change begins with small actions—it starts with each of us.
Reach Out 🧡
Make talking a regular part of life, not something reserved for moments of crisis. Check-in on your mates, your family, and yourself. A simple “How are you doing?” can be enough to open doors, even just a little. It doesn’t have to be a heavy conversation every time—being present and showing genuine interest can create the space that someone needs. Regular, simple check-ins build trust and show people that you care. This consistency can be life-changing, reminding people that they are not isolated.
Ask Real Questions ❔
It’s incredible what can happen when you ask, “How are you?” Often, we stay on the surface, sticking to small talk. But when we dig a little deeper, we provide the opportunity for others to open up about what’s truly happening. Sometimes, people aren’t even aware of what they’ve buried until someone asks. It’s these deeper questions that help bring those hidden feelings to light. Asking meaningful questions shows that you value someone’s well-being and are ready to listen. Creating opportunities for honest conversations can break down barriers and build profound connections.
Listen. Just Listen 🎤
You don’t always need to offer a solution. Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is simply be there and listen. It’s about creating a safe space without judgment or unsolicited advice. When someone knows they can express their truth without fear of being dismissed or misunderstood, it makes all the difference. Active listening can be transformative—just knowing that someone truly hears you is powerful. It reduces isolation and fosters an environment where struggles can be voiced and validated without the expectation of fixing everything immediately.
Cold water therapy has been a personal lifeline for me. It’s more than just a physical reset; it’s a mental one too. Research indicates that cold water immersion can trigger the release of endorphins, reduce cortisol levels, and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, thereby improving mood and reducing stress. It’s not just about confronting the cold; it’s about confronting the discomfort within. The shock of the cold strips away all distractions, forcing me to focus on the present. This practice has become a ritual of resilience—facing controlled discomfort helps me build the strength to deal with life’s uncontrollable discomforts.
Cold water immersion isn’t just a reset—it has become a metaphor for taking control of discomfort. Every time I step into that cold water, I remind myself that I can do difficult things and that I can choose to face challenges head-on. The more I practised it, the more it reinforced my resilience in facing emotional discomfort. It’s a reminder that we can confront the coldness of life and emerge stronger.
Keep Showing Up 🙌
Having one conversation is good, but it’s the consistency that truly makes a difference. Regularly checking in, and keeping those lines of communication open, tells others that they are not alone. Consistency builds trust, and when things do get tough, a foundation of support is already in place. The act of showing up time and time again reassures others that you aren’t just a one-time support; you are a constant. It’s not just about the grand gestures but the repeated small actions that let someone know they are seen and heard, no matter what.
Building Community
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that we are stronger together. Humans are inherently social beings, and our mental health benefits when we feel connected. Initiatives like ‘Men’s Shed’—a community space where men can come together to work on projects, share stories, and support each other—are making a significant difference. Spaces like these foster connection and belonging, helping men realize they are not alone. Building a community—whether with friends, family, or even strangers who understand—can be lifesaving. It’s about creating networks where vulnerability is met with empathy, where strength is defined by openness, and where nobody has to carry their burdens alone.
We need spaces—both online and offline—where men feel comfortable talking without judgment. Whether through formal support groups, community centres, or informal gatherings, these environments are crucial. Something as simple as a weekly coffee meetup, a walk in the park, or an online forum for sharing experiences can save lives. Normalizing these conversations and making them a natural part of everyday life is essential. When we create environments where men feel safe, we dismantle the barriers that have held us back for so long.
Community initiatives like local men’s groups, fitness clubs that prioritize mental health, or even online forums that facilitate discussion are powerful tools in our journey to end the silence. These spaces aren’t just about talking—they are about creating bonds, celebrating resilience, and reminding each other that vulnerability is human. They demonstrate that together, we can weather the storm.
A New Kind of Strength
I’ve learned that the darkest moments don’t have to remain dark. We all face battles, but we don’t have to fight them alone, and we don’t have to keep them hidden. Real strength is not about denying the struggle—it’s about finding the courage to confront it and to share that journey, however difficult it may be. Every time we speak out, every time we reach out or reach in, we help bring mental health out of the shadows and into the light.
There was a time when I believed that showing emotion made me less of a man. Now, I understand that it makes me more of one. It makes me human. It creates connections that silence never could. Every time I share my story, I’m not just helping myself; I’m permitting others to do the same. We need to lead by example—showing that it’s okay to struggle and okay to speak up.
This journey has taught me that real strength lies in acknowledging our humanity. There is no weakness in expressing pain, fear, or vulnerability—there is power. By redefining what it means to be a man, we can create a culture where emotional openness is seen as a sign of true resilience. When we lead with authenticity, we pave the way for others to do the same. We make it easier for our brothers, sons, friends, and colleagues to reach out when they need it.
Resources for Support
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, reaching out for support is a crucial step. Here are some organizations in the UK dedicated to men’s mental health that can assist:
Andy’s Man Club: A free, weekly peer-to-peer support group for men across the UK, providing a safe space to openly discuss mental health challenges. Learn more
Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM): A leading charity focused on suicide prevention and mental health awareness. They offer a free, confidential helpline and web chat service for those in crisis. Learn more
Men’s Minds Matter: Dedicated to the prevention of male suicide by providing psychological interventions and promoting awareness. Learn more
ManHealth: Offers peer support groups and training workshops to empower men in managing their mental health effectively. Learn more
Men’s Shed: A community space where men can come together to work on projects, share stories, and support each other. Learn more
Mind: A national charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing mental health issues, including resources specifically for men. Learn more
These organizations offer support groups, helplines, and other resources to help men manage their mental health and break the silence surrounding it. Reaching out can be the first step towards a better, healthier future.
Conclusion: We Are Stronger Together
If you’re struggling, reach out. And if you see someone struggling, reach in. Together, we can make these conversations as natural as breathing. Because none of us should have to face these battles alone. We’re all in this together, and together, we are stronger.
