Ian Callaghan
I Am Enough
Moules Mariniere
Moules Mariniere
Mussels are at there best at this time of year. This is the classic French dish of Moules Mariniere. Though the best I have had were in Belgium where it is a firm favourite with one of their great beers.
Ingredients
1.75kg/4lb mussels
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
2 shallots, finely chopped
15g/½oz butter
a bouquet garni of parsley, thyme and bay leaves
100ml/3½fl oz dry white wine or cider
120ml/4fl oz double cream
a handful of parsley leaves, coarsely chopped
crusty bread, to serve.
Method
Wash the mussels under plenty of cold, running water. Discard any open ones that won’t close when lightly squeezed.
Pull out the tough, fibrous beards protruding from between the tightly closed shells and then knock off any barnacles with a large knife. Give the mussels another quick rinse to remove any little pieces of shell.
Soften the garlic and shallots in the butter with the bouquet garni, in a large pan big enough to take all the mussels – it should only be half full.
Add the mussels and wine or cider, turn up the heat, then cover and steam them open in their own juices for 3-4 minutes. Give the pan a good shake every now and then.
Remove the bouquet garni, add the cream and chopped parsley and remove from the heat.
Spoon into four large warmed bowls and serve with lots of crusty bread.
Perfect chips
Mussels go great with chips and a good mayo or aioli, this is how i do my perfect chip.
Perfect Chips
My prefered potatoes for perfect chips is the Maris Piper this is the most widely grown potato variety in the UK and a firm favourite of the fish & chip shop. For two people the following will be plenty. If you have no issues with fat then the best fat by far to cook your chips in is beef dripping, this was the favourite of the chip shops for many years before we all became health-conscious, on the odd occasion using beef dripping will give you a treat worth the calories.
500g of Maris Piper potatoes
Beef dripping
Peel and cut the potatoes and wash thoroughly.
Boil a pan of salted water and place the chipped potatoes in a bring back to boil then gently simmer for ten minutes.
Strain and cool the chips on a wire rack, once cool place in the fridge to chill.
In a large heavy-bottomed pan or deep fat fryer heat the beef dripping to 130C, in a mesh basket fry the chips for 8-9 minutes until just coloured. Remove and shake well to drain off the oil, cool on the wire rack once cool place in fridge to chill.
When you are ready to eat heat the oil to 190C using the mesh basket fry the chips for 2-3 minutes times can vary depending on the cooker and chip size, once golden brown in colour remove and shake to drain excess oil, place on kitchen paper to absorb any further oil and serve immediately.
Pork Vindaloo
Pork Vindaloo
Where to start with the Vindaloo, the much-maligned curry that is linked to drunks on a Saturday night ordering the hottest curry. This pork Vindaloo bares little resemblance to the mismatch of curry house sauces with added chillies to create the Vindaloo.
Unlike takeaway vindaloo which is just a bastardised curry sauce with extra chillis, authentic Goan vindaloo does have heat but it is the depth of flavour from the spice mix and the vinegar that creates this curry. The word vindaloo is a garbled pronunciation of the popular Portuguese dish Carne de vinha d’alhos (meat marinated in wine vinegar and garlic), which made its way to India in the 15th century along with Portuguese explorers.
INGREDIENTS
1 tsp. cumin seeds.
1 tsp. coriander seeds.
5-10 dried red Kashmiri chillies (or 3–6 hotter dried red chillies).
6 black peppercorns.
3 green cardamom pods.
4 cloves.
2cm cinnamon stick.
Thumb sized piece of ginger.
1 bulb garlic.
1 tsp mustard seeds.
1 tsp fenugreek seeds.
1 tsp fennel seeds.
10 curry leaves.
3 tbsp. good-quality white wine vinegar, or to taste.
400 g pork shoulder with some fat, in 1″ cubes.
Salt to taste.
4 tbsp of ghee.
2 large onions finely chopped.
400g tin chopped tomatoes.
Method
In a heavy-bottomed pan add the dry spices and warmly toast, this releases the oils and intensifies the flavour. Remove from the heat and allow to cool. I use my old cast casserole pot, melt the ghee and add the onions, garlic and ginger and on low heat saute until caramelised, you do not want to burn the onions as this will give an acrid taste to the curry.
Once the dry spices have cooled they need grinding down, either in a pestle and mortar or spice grinder, I use a coffee grinder. Grind to a powder, add to the onions and saute for a further five minutes. Add the diced meat that has been marinating in the vinegar and half the garlic cloves and coat well with the spice and onion mix. Pour in the tomatoes and half a tin of water to cover the meat, stir well cover and place in a preheated oven at 160c for two hours or until the pork is tender. For some, they add potatoes in for the final thirty minutes of cooking.
Serving
Serve with rice or bread, the addition of potatoes to the final cooking time takes away the need for rice. A cold beer goes well with this curry.
Bhuna Curry
Bhuna Curry
Bhuna Curry
Recipe type: Main Curry
Prep time: 20 minsCook time: 1 hour 30 minsTotal time: 1 hour 50 mins
Serves: 4 – 6
Rich intense flavour curry.
Of all the curries I make this is by the most popular one.
Ingredients.
1kg 2.2lb Meat stewing lamb or pork, even beef can be used as Kerala is the only state where the sale of beef is legal.
2 teaspoons cumin seeds
2 teaspoons coriander seeds
2 teaspoons mustard seeds
4 whole dried chillies
2 teaspoons fennel seeds
2 teaspoons fenugreek seeds
5 Tablespoons oil
3 Large Shallots very finely diced
1.5″ ginger peeled and diced
6 cloves Garlic finely chopped
12 curry leaves fresh if possible
1 tin chopped tomatoes
1.5 teaspoons salt.
Instructions
In a small heavy-based pan place the spice seeds and heat until a slightly darker shade, this increases the flavour. Empty into a spice mixer or pestle and mortar once cooled grind to a fine powder and set to one side.
Place the oil into a wide-based heavy saucepan and place over medium heat, once the oil is hot place the shallots, garlic and ginger fry and stir at the same time until golden brown roughly 5 minutes.
Add the tomatoes and curry leaves and fry until the tomatoes reduce to a thick paste.
Next, the roast spice mix and stir for 1-2 minutes.
Add the salt and meat and cook for 5 minutes.
Pour in 250ml of water and bring to a simmer, cover tightly with a lid and reduce to low heat and cook until the meat is tender. Depending on the meat used roughly one and a half hours.
Once the meat is cooked increase the heat and stir continuously until the sauce reduces and just clings to the meat.
Serve with rice or flatbreads.
Purpose
Yesterday had a purpose and meaning, I set an intention and did it. I woke well before the alarm and knew exactly what I was going to do everything planned and set in place. Camera-ready, memory card sorted, batteries charged, flask ready. I had wanted to get a sunset from one of the local mountains for a while. One benefit of doing it at this time of year is that sunrise is not actually until around 8 am.
That said I was still on the mountain at not long after 6. I could have just driven around to Foxhunters car park and just sat in the car and waited but I had decided to park at Keepers and walk. The solitude and being on my own are not an issue and I actually enjoy it. I never actually seen any people. People arrived in Foxhunters carpark around 7.30 or so and just sat in the car park. I had walked onto the moor so I had the best viewpoint to capture the sunrise.
Dawn Chorus
As is often the case the changes in light before the actual sunrise is far more interesting. I stood watching ravens in the pre-dawn light, grouse in the heather calling. The dawn chorus always starts with the largest birds calling first, there are not many larger than the Raven. I find the whole Corvidae family fascinating and always have as a kid I kept a jackdaw in my bedroom.
The main character in the short stories that I told Ffion since she can remember involved Harry the Crow. He is still here and always will be. We now have a physical Harry as a very good friend crotched a crow for me and Ffion. I have so many stories of Harry and his friends that I know should be put to paper for others. Harry was there when Ffion had her meltdowns and would not talk to me or her mum. She would talk with Harry even though it was just my hand.
Post walk high
I got back home late morning, over 250 raw files on the memory card over 5gb of files. While the files were imported on to the laptop I made a fry up the full monty.
I actually quite enjoy editing the images in photoshop, photoshop is basically the digital photographer’s darkroom. Instead of mixing chemicals its a question of highlights, shadows, contrast, exposure and sharpening. I find the whole process very mindful and it takes my mind and focus away from all the bollocks.
After editing around 30 raw files I took a break and realised it was almost 7 pm. There are still around 200 images that need editing but I decided that was enough for the day.
Evening
In all honesty, I have absolutely no idea what was on the TV last night other than a programme on Mental Health. I did post a short rant on FaceBook regarding it. By now I had drunk about 6 cans of German beer. Watching the programme flicked a few of my triggers and I had to get out. It is not the first time in the last few months when I have found myself outdoors in just shorts and a t-shirt. Last time I sat in the shared garden I have for about 20 minutes in minus 3. At these times I do my mindful breathing exercises and earthing. Mainly due to the fact I just walk out of the flat barefoot in whatever I have on when I get the anxiety or panic attacks.
Last night it was shorts and a t-shirt and I walked around the car parking area. Not that it makes any difference as I do not notice the temperature. When I started the day on the Blorenge it was -5, it was nowhere near as cold as we had a lot of cloud cover. This is one of the few things I notice as one of my focuses when I do my walkabouts are the stars and constellations.
Insomnia
As I posted on Facebook in the middle of the night
So I have been up since 4.50 yesterday when I went up the mountain to catch the sunrise, I had 20 minutes snooze this afternoon and I am still awake. Insomnia sucks the sweat off Franks big dangly nuts. In the process of creating a recipe section on the blog, transferring the videos to youtube and talking to Lee Fash Williams who wants to do some bonkers pig grylls wild camp kill and cook stuff and you wonder why my heads fucked lol
I started this post about how I am totally different when I have a purpose as to when I just wallow in self-pity.
The post has gone off on a tangent somewhat and in all honesty. I am not totally sure what is in the post until I read back. Sometimes I will just hit the post button and read it online. Luckily my spelling and grammar are generally OK 🙂
This is one of those posts that I will read later. If it makes sense then that’s ok if not then that’s ok as well. This is my story my now and it helps me to just on occasion write total nonsense.
If any of it strikes a chord please leave a comment and if you feel it will help anyone then please share. Love to you all. Give gratitude for what you have not what you want.
the darkest thoughts
I have lost count of the days that I lost just laying in bed having the darkest thoughts. Each day just the same as the last, I had become a zombie with little to no interest in anything at all. I was living for weekends when I would have my daughter and the dog. During the lowest points of those days, I often thought what was the point? why was I here? I ran things through my head. The thoughts scared me filled me with fear and dread. Some of the thoughts were so dark and I would run it over and over.
There is a big difference in suicide and suicidal, though both of the same thought process and mindset.
Statistics and trends
They are very scary statistics, sadly the stigma surrounding mental health still exists despite the high profile campaigns etc.
How would it end?
I often thought about how I would do it, how I would end the darkest thoughts, end the pain. In reality, the pain never ends it just passes to those closest to you, those who love you unconditionally.
I hate taking pills so that wasn’t an option, couldn’t hang myself, cut myself nope again not an option, jump of something again nope.
I knew and had gone through it in my head so many times, it had to be water. Water has always had a draw to me be it swimming in the river as kids, I love to be in or on water, paddleboarding, kayak, wild swimming. Most of my walks are near water be it the canal, the coast, the river or the waterfalls in the mountains.
One day
One day I found myself in the car on the way to the sea. I had decided today was the day. There wouldn’t be many if any people at a secluded beach in atrocious weather.
Music on I knew exactly where I was going, in my mind the darkest thoughts, the pain I was in had to come to an end. I drove down the dual carriageway towards Newport, down Malpas road and onto the M4, heading west. As I approached Tredegar house a song came on that jolted me, snapped my mind out of its thought process, technically this is called breaking state. Pulling off the motorway I drove around to Tredegar park, parked up, turned the engine off and cried like a baby. Picking up my phone the screen saver opened which is a picture of me and Ffion. This brought me back to my senses. As I do every day I gave gratitude for her being in my life. I tell her in one way or another that I love her every day. I used to do the same with Lewis.
Sitting there I opened my phone and sent her a message just a simple I Love You Tinker x
Fear
At the basic level, fear guides our fight or flight responses and helps to keep us safe and alive. Fear heightens your senses and awareness; it keeps you alert and helps in better preparation. The negative side of fear is when it holds you back from doing something positive.
My fear at that point was never holding my tinker again, never having a pint with my boy. They say we only grow on the other side of fear, fear can help us to
- Focus and concentration.
- Heighten Awareness
- Acknowledgement and Enlightenment
- Preparation and Planning.
- Dissect Extremes.
- Remove Barriers.
- Break Routine.
Positive Fear
There are other positive aspects to fear and breaking out of the comfort zone.
This post has been in draft for a while, I have held my finger over the publish button a few times and then just saved the draft.
Constantly I say we need to have the conversation regarding mental health every day not just some random week in the year. My purpose in my writing is to raise awareness to let others know they are not alone and that there are plenty out there suffering the exact same feelings.
Please feel free to share among friends, among social media groups that you are in, and please, please, please talk. Check-in on the ones you have not seen in a while those that have strangely gone quiet. And as always I am here at any time of the day or night to listen.
I am thinking of setting up a group where we get together to talk, go for walks maybe even cook and just talk bollocks together, I have lots of thoughts in my head at the moment on my direction and purpose but one thing for sure they are positive not the darkest thoughts I did have, and the only time I will be walking into the sea is for fun, I am trying to get in there soon just have to work the timing between the seasonal storms. There are many health benefits to cold water be it contrast showers or wild swimming but that’s another post.
Love to you all x
Healthy gut healthy mind
Over the last few years, there has been a lot of research into the gut-brain axis, studies and work on a healthy gut healthy mind link. One of the best ways to improve your mental health is through your gut. We have all heard of changing your eating habits for improving certain health issues such as high blood pressure, type 2 diabetes and certain cancers. How many of us have ever considered doing so for our mental health?
A few simple dietary changes may boost cognitive function and reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders.
When most people think of boosting their brainpower, they think of learning something new or engaging in thought-provoking debate. As it turns out, one of the best ways to improve your mental health is through your gut. Like your brain, the gut has its own nervous system, which sends information to the brain via the vagus nerve. This helps explain why you might feel queasy when you’re nervous or stressed. Just as the brain impacts the gut, what we put in our gut can impact the functioning of the brain.
Gut Microbes Make Other Chemicals That Affect the Brain
The trillions of microbes that live in your gut also make other chemicals that affect how your brain works.
Your gut microbes produce lots of short-chain fatty acids (SCFA) such as butyrate, propionate and acetate.
They make SCFA by digesting fiber. SCFA affect brain function in a number of ways, such as reducing appetite.
Gut Microbes Affect Inflammation
Your gut-brain axis is also connected through the immune system.
Gut and gut microbes play an important role in your immune system and inflammation by controlling what is passed into the body and what is excreted.
If your immune system is switched on for too long, it can lead to inflammation, which is associated with a number of brain disorders like depression and Alzheimer’s disease.
Lipopolysaccharide (LPS) is an inflammatory toxin made by certain bacteria. It can cause inflammation if too much of it passes from the gut into the blood.
This can happen when the gut barrier becomes leaky, which allows bacteria and LPS to cross over into the blood.
Inflammation and high LPS in the blood have been associated with a number of brain disorders including severe depression, dementia and schizophrenia.
Your gut and brain are connected through millions of nerves. Most importantly the vagus nerve. The gut and its microbes also control inflammation and make many different compounds that can affect brain health.
What is the vagus nerve and what does it do?
What is the vagus nerve?
The vagus nerve is one of the cranial nerves that connect the brain to the body. The most important function of the vagus nerve is afferent, bringing information of the inner organs, such as gut, liver, heart, and lungs to the brain. This suggests that the inner organs are major sources of sensory information to the brain.
The vagus nerve has two bunches of sensory nerve cell bodies, and it connects the brainstem to the body. It allows the brain to monitor and receive information.
Foods for a healthy gut healthy mind.
Gut health refers to the balance of microorganisms that live in the digestive tract. Looking after the health of the gut and maintaining the right balance of these microorganisms is vital for physical and mental health, immunity, and more.
These bacteria, yeasts, and viruses — of which there are around 100 trillion — are also called the “gut microbiome” or “gut flora.”
The following boost gut microbiome.
- fermented vegetables
- kefir
- kimchi
- kombucha
- miso
- sauerkraut
- tempeh
To enhance your gut health you may wish to include more of the following prebiotic-rich foods in their diet:
- asparagus
- bananas
- chicory
- garlic
- Jerusalem artichoke
- onions
- whole grains
Other things to consider.
Eat less sugar and sweeteners.
Reduce Stress.
Avoid taking antibiotics unnecessarily.
Exercise Regularly.
Get Enough Sleep.
Change your cleaning products. We live in a far to sanitised world with all the antibacterial products, these not only kill harmful bacteria they kill the healthy as well.
Antidepressants, libido, sex drive
Antidepressants, particularly selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or SSRIs, have been shown to impact libido and sex drive. With symptoms like reduced libido, delayed ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and an inability or delayed ability to reach orgasm. I have been on sertraline which is one of the most common SSRI’s.
Antidepressants are the second most prescribed drug by NHS Wales with figures over 2.5 million being prescribed in 2018, the figure in England, data from NHS Digital show that 70.9 million prescriptions for antidepressants were given out in 2018, compared with 36 million in 2008.
This is a startling number. One of the reasons I actually decided to write this post. Of course, I am writing this from a man’s perspective. I can’t comment on it from the fairer sex point of view. Women taking SSRIs may experience delayed lubrication as well as delayed or blocked orgasm. Generally, women are also likely to experience a lack of desire for sex. In some cases, women report discomfort during sex.
No interest.
For me, I have had little to no interest, but you are single I hear you say. An old joke observes that 98% of people masturbate, and the other 2% are lying. In a recent study, only 38% of women said they’d masturbated at all during the past year. The figure for men was 61%. Hmmm do you believe the figures, we all know we can make statistics say anything we wish. For me, there was no desire to even masturbate, I would have rather had a cup of tea and some cheese. You could have put all my female fantasies in a room and I doubt that there would have been much interest. When I did masturbate I do not recall actually ejaculating and gave up.
So as I have written about I have now come off my antidepressants, it is only a week but in general, I am feeling a lot better in myself and have so far touch wood not experienced any side effects.
Antidepressants, libido, sex drive.
“Pathways of sexual desire involve serotonin, but also chemicals such as dopamine and norepinephrine,”. “Dopamine is linked to the intense passion and arousal of romantic love. While norepinephrine is associated with the heightened attention and motivation of desire. Serotonin-enhancing antidepressants blunt sexual desire by reducing the capacity of dopamine and norepinephrine, or excitatory pathways, to be activated.”
Natural treatment
So I am now going back to basics. Through diet and meditation and exercise.
Foods to increase dopamine and norepinephrine.
- Dairy foods such as milk, cheese and yoghurt.
- Unprocessed meats such as beef, chicken and turkey.
- Omega-3 rich fish such as salmon and mackerel.
- Eggs.
- Fruit and vegetables, in particular bananas.
- Nuts such as almonds and walnuts.
- Dark chocolate.
There is strong scientific evidence showing that meditation and yoga can naturally release and increase dopamine and norepinephrine as well as serotonin.
My doctor believed that I was suffering from depression brought on by low serotonin levels and his first thing was to recommend antidepressants (SSRI’s sertraline). I fully understand that the doctor does not have the time to investigate the root cause. I have done my own research and am going back to basics and will see how I get on.
natures antidepressants
I have been thinking for a while now how natures antidepressants make me feel better than the sertraline I have been taking. Rather than feeling like a zombie with no interest in anything at all. I actually feel alive after being in nature. Living so close to the Brecon Beacons and the Black Mountains I know I am spoilt for choice. There is so much to explore for every ability.
Today’s walk was in Talybont forest in the Brecon Beacons national park.
This is a relatively easy walk all though a bit slippery in places, well it is when you clamber of wet mossy rocks to get a better angle for your pictures. I had procrastinated and wasted the morning making excuses not to go out. Just after lunchtime and having decided that I would not take my antidepressant I showered and get ready to go out.
Natural or manufactured?
Natures antidepressants were the order of the day. Being in, on or around water lifts me. Being in woods or forests lifts me. The local mountains lift me. Why I have stopped getting out baffles me, it is only since being on the tablets that I have stopped. I had even stopped my mindfulness, stopped eating my fermented foods. It is proven that all of these help with mental health. When you also take in the exercise that I am missing out on another proven help in mental health. Is it any wonder that one tablet can not have the same benefits as several natural things we have done forever.
Weaning off
I won’t just stop the tablets as I am aware there are side effects associated with it, I will, however, cut back on them until I wean myself off them. There have been no positives that I am aware of since starting them. People say to give them time before making a judgement. It is now 10 weeks since starting on these. The cons at present outweigh the pros. I see no cons in natures antidepressants and the other things I was doing such as mindfulness and healthy eating.
I have also gained weight since being on the sertraline. So for me, it makes sense to start weaning off the big pharma crap that masks the root cause but doesn’t cure it. If they created cures they would soon be out of business, so I am going back to natural and natures antidepressants. Time to give myself a kick up the arse and get on with it. I have signed up for red January again for MIND this will be my accountability for being active every day.
Been a while since I wrote but had a good Christmas with Ffion being here a lot of the time and she is back with me tomorrow. I plan on getting out in the morning before going to collect her and Frank for New Years Eve. No partying for me a quiet night with my tinker and the hound. A glass of wine for me hot chocolate for Ffion that is after shes had the steak shes ordered for tea. Wishing each and every one of you a Happy New Year. Love from me and mine to you and yours, good health to you all.
triggers and coping
Sunday evening is one of my triggers. It’s one thing, anyone, with mental health issues, has to learn, their triggers and coping. My Sunday night trigger is taking Ffion home. Throughout the day it builds from getting up. Knowing that she will be going home well her and Frank will be. I recently posted about alone and loneliness. There is no issue in being alone and enjoy time by myself but Sunday night I often feel lonely. There is a huge difference in being alone and lonely. I know this is coming and recognise it as one of my triggers. I have now started to put things in place, this is my triggers and coping.
It would be all to easy to just sit here put shit on the telly and get drunk to block it out for that short time the drink took over the mind. Having been there done that I know it is not the answer to the problem. Most weeks I now take Ffion home late afternoon then come home and cook my tea, this gives me something to occupy the mind and focus on. Another thing is picking up one of my hobbies be that editing some photos, writing like I am now, listening to music. It definitely helps me having coping practices in place and knowing my triggers.
Different strokes for different folks.
Triggers can be internal or external, including smells, sights, sounds, and emotions that remind the person of the past trauma in some way. Triggers can also be relevant for those with other mental health disorders, including anxiety disorders, eating disorders, and substance abuse. Like I said earlier my substance abuse was drink, I would drink to excess to block it out. Foolishly I believed that was me coping with my issues. The reality was it only made my issues worse.
My coping
Social media has its pros and cons with both triggers and coping for me. There are times you look on social media and everyone is happy and living a perfect life. Even though myself and everybody else knows that all we see are the highlight reels of peoples lives we still compare and chastise ourselves. Then it is an excellent resource for connecting with others, be that friends or through various groups that exist. It can be a great coping tool by taking away that loneliness through social interaction.
Often on a Sunday night, I have an Epsom salt bath. There is so much scientific evidence on the benefits of this, it is by far the easiest and best ways to get certain minerals into the body. From magnesium known for its sleep benefits to reducing stress and exercise recovery. For a long time, I have talked about the benefits of mindfulness and meditation and its benefits as a coping mechanism for so many aspects from anxiety to depression.
Mindfulness and meditation
There are plenty of online resources and apps with guided meditations.
I am currently following one that triggers the pineal gland and thus actually release serotonin. There is not a single antidepressant that does this, we have SSRIs but they manage serotonin not create it. There is a lot of medical thought that depression can be a low level of serotonin. If by doing something totally natural and not a product of the global big pharma helps me then I will take that every day.
This is by no means an exhaustive test if how I cope or my triggers, everyone’s triggers and coping is different. Find your triggers and work out how you will cope with them.
My inbox is always open and I will always reply to any messages.
Please comment about how you cope with your triggers. What do you do to manage?
Alone or lonely
Is there a difference to being alone or lonely, what does it mean to you to be alone or lonely? Alone and lonely are both adjectives, but they have different meanings. A person is alone when they are by themself. A person is lonely when they feel abandoned or sad due to isolation. Since alone and solitary both contain the letter A, you can remember that alone refers to a state of solitude, rather than an emotion.
There are times we all feel lonely. The feelings of loneliness are personal, so everyone’s experiences of loneliness will be different.
One common description of loneliness is the feeling we get when our need for rewarding social contact and relationships is not met. But loneliness is not always the same as being alone.
You may choose to be alone and live happily without much contact with other people, while others may find this a lonely experience.
Or you may have lots of social contacts, or be in a relationship or part of a family, and still feel lonely – especially if you don’t feel understood or cared for by the people around you.
I never feel lonely when I’m in nature. I feel more connected than ever when I’m walking alone through a wood or by a river.
How can I manage loneliness?
This page has some tips and suggestions for managing feelings of loneliness:
- Take it slow
- Make new connections
- Try peer support
- Try to open up
- Talking therapies
- Social care
- Be careful when comparing yourself to others
- Look after yourself.
Some people find these ideas useful, but remember that different things work for different people at different times. Only try what you feel comfortable with, and try not to put too much pressure on yourself. If something isn’t working for you (or doesn’t feel possible just now), you can try something else, or come back to it another time.